


Pride and Profanity

by Scoco



Category: Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Essentially Peter's POV with a few peppered in, Eventual Smut, I promise, Jealousy, M/M, Mutual Pining, NATASHA IS A LESBIAN, Natasha POV, Oblivious, Peter POV, Repression, Slow Burn, Stupid Boys, bare with me, mild violence, okay, sexually explicit content, wade pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-09
Updated: 2018-11-01
Packaged: 2019-07-28 11:43:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 30,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16240922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scoco/pseuds/Scoco
Summary: “Well, fuck. This was getting complicated.He looked at the man standing in front of him, and the only thing he could think was "fuck" . He was stupid. Stupidly beautiful. Stupidly funny. Stupidly smart.God damn motherfucking shit.He needed to leave, like, yesterday. There Wade was. Standing in the corner, talking with some girl, beer in hand. Not a care in the world. Acting as if he hadn’t just ruined Peter’s life, the asshole.”Peter meets Deadpool, and instantly hates him. The feelings mutual, until a series of events makes them kind-of friends. And then best friends. And then, of course, Peter falls for the mercenary. The idiot. But is the feeling mutual this time? (Are you really asking this? Of course it is.)Aka enemies-to-friends-to-lovers, with a lot of profanity in the mix. Think of Wade as Mr.Darcy but with katanas, and Peter as Elizabeth but with radioactive blood.





	1. Chapter 1

It started with a mugging. Not Peter’s own mugging, of course. He was Spider-man, god damnit.  


No, it was someone else’s mugging. And Peter was there to save the day, per the usual. Criminals really needed to get more creative. Mugging was just so...90’s. Really out of style. A bit tacky. So naturally Peter was about to tell said mugger just that, when it all went down.  


“God! A mugging, in New York City? Groundbreaking.” A strange, gravelly voice called from down the alley. If Peter wasn’t so god damn confused, he would have laughed.  


“What have we got going on down here, huh? I heard some girlish screams and ran here as fast as I could. Even dropped my taco. Y’know and they say I’m not a good guy? Is that not the ultimate act of self sacrifice?”  


The strange man began sauntering over to the criminal, clearly not noticing Peter, who was perched on the roof above just about to web the guy to the wall. He was huge. Tall, incredibly muscular, and clad in red and black leather. Peter was pretty sure he saw some samurai swords strapped to the guy’s back. _Is this the infamous deadpool?_ He had read some vague files about the mercenary during one of his stints with the avengers. More like skimmed, since all Peter could seem to recollect was ;Mercenary blah blah blah trying to be better blah blah blah mentally unstable blah blah blah willing to work with the avengers blah blah blah’ He had paid attention to the photo though, and it was a dead ringer for the man lamenting his dropped taco.  


Deadpool continued to lazily walk towards the mugger, reaching behind himself to pull out two swords. They glinted in the city lights, and looked dangerously sharp.  


“So anyways, back to my taco. I _dropped_ it. On my way to save whats her face over here.” He pointed to the woman who was already booking it down the alley.  


“Wow.” Deadpool sighed, looked at the mugger and shrugged “It’s a thankless business, y’know? I don’t get paid enough. Well..actually, I don’t get paid at all. But besides the point! Mr. Mugger I still have to deal with you.”  


And with that, Deadpool lifted his swords in a very threatening (albeit kind of impressive and a bit hot) way. It seemed like a bit too violent for Spider-man’s ‘no-killing’ policy.  


“Whoa whoa whoa dude!” He had swung down, done a very acrobatic flip , and landed right next to the mercenary. He could be impressive and hot too, okay.  


“If you just would put the ninja knives away I can web this guy up and call the cops. No need for cutting and slicing.”  


Deadpool looked completely shocked. The white eyes of his mask blinked quickly, and even with the mask Peter could tell the other man’s eyebrows were raised.  


“Spider-man? Is that you?!” Deadpool squealed. His hands flew up to his cheeks, and the mercenary started bouncing up and down and giggling. Completely normal behavior for a grown man.  
“Oh my god Spider-man! You are just as cute in person. And like I’m not even looking at your butt right now and I can tell it’s great. Probably pretty perky, huh? _Damn._ Anyways, Spider-man...spiderboy...spider...spidey. Spidey! That’s the one. Spidey. Anyways, Spidey, I thought that you weren’t as boooring as all the other Avengers. Like, I wasn’t gonna kill the guy! Maybe just cut off a hand or something. Bust a kneecap. Nothing huge.”  


Peter had in that moment realized that Deadpool was a talker.  


“Look...Deadpool, right?” He was answered with an eager nod “That’s just not necessary. I’ll just web him up. Call the cops like I always do.” Peter gestured towards the mugger. Or rather, the empty spot where the mugger was standing about thirty seconds ago.  


Deadpool and Wade looked at each other, and both yelled “FUCK” before bolting after the criminal.  


“This would have never happened if you had just left this alone! I do this all the time I don’t need some amateur ‘hero’ messing shit up for me!”  


“Hey hey HEY spidey. If you hadn’t interrupted me, this guy would be handcuffed and in pain.”  


“This is so not my fault. ”  


“Uh, yeah, it is. Spidey. Or should I say _Spider-man._ That’s how much I don’t like you right now.”  


“Oh well WOE IS ME. How will I ever go on? Deadpool doesn’t _like me._ ”  


“For once, I don’t appreciate the sarcasm. I’m just trying to be a good guy here! You’re the one that fucked everything up for me.”  


“Can we just, like, focus for one second on catching this guy. Besides, I highly doubt you’ll ever be a good guy.”  


“Fuck. Fine, _you_ can go catch the guy. Protect your precious city. I’ll go fuck off and be evil somewhere, ‘kay?”  


“Finally. Thought you’d never leave!”  


“Oh fuck off Spider-man. I’d say it was nice running into you, but it wasn’t! Officially revoking my membership to the Spider-man Fan Club as soon as I get home!”  


Deadpool stalked off into the night, fists bunched up against his sides.  


_What an asshole_ Peter thought as he slinged himself up to the top of a building. The perp had managed to evade him, all because of fucking Deadpool. Peter scanned the city around him for any traces of the mugger. No luck.  


\ _Fuckin’ Deadpool. Really hope I never see that guy again._

-

Which is why, naturally, the next day Tony called him into his office to talk about a certain Deadpool.  


Peter came dressed as Spider-man, and swung in through the window Tony would leave open whenever he wanted to meet.  


Tony looked angry. Cigar in one hand, whiskey in the other. Peter felt like a little kid in the principal’s office. He wasn’t even a real Avenger, just helped ‘em out sometimes. Why was this happening.  


“So. Heard you met Deadpool.”  


_Well that’s not what I expected him to say._  


“What-What. How do you even know that?” Peter muttered, not really looking at Tony. Did he know that the perp got away from him too? Was this some sort of test?  


“Heard the mugger got away too. Not your best work, Peter.”  


Well, shit.  


“I know..I know. I’m sorry. But, who even told you?”  


“Deadpool.” Tony said matter-of-factly, as if it wasn’t weird at all that the two of them talked. Ironman and Deadpool, just shootin’ the shit. Chit-chattin. That image was just way too bizarre.  
Peter was silent, trying to wrap his head around his current circumstances.  


_What the fuck? Why are they even talking. And why are they talking about me? Is this a joke?_  


Tony, however, was not done looking stern and chiding Peter. So, he continued:  
“Deadpool told me that he was about to deal with a mugger and then you came along and started arguing with him and the guy got away. And then he told me that you were so mean that he left you to catch the guy. Which, didn’t happen.”  


_What a SNITCH._  


In even his wildest dreams Peter would have never thought that a mercenary of all people would _snitch_ on him to _Ironman_ especially since it wasn’t even Peter’s fault. This had to be a joke.  


“Okay, first of all. I was about to catch the guy when Deadpool intervened. And Deadpool distracted me. He was the asshole. Secondly, why do you even talk to that guy??”  


Peter really felt like he was in school again. He felt weird even trying to defend himself. He was 24 god damnit. And a superhero. Let him live.  


Tony just shook his head and took a sip of his whiskey. _That whiskey probably cost as much as my rent._  


“Look, Peter. I know Deadpool is an asshole. But he’s kind of an asset to have. The guy can’t be killed. He’s trying to be a better guy and save some people. He wants to team up with us, and not kill people anymore.”  


“Okay...and what does this have to do with me?”  


“I just want you to let the guy do his thing. He might be a dick but he’s trying. Don’t get in his way again, we’re trying to help him.”  


Peter’s jaw pretty much hit the floor.  


“You’re joking, right? You’re treating the guy who used to kill people for a living better than you treated me.”  


Tony sighed, “That’s exactly why we’re trying to treat him better. He’s a bit more fragile than you think. Look, I don’t want to lecture you any longer. Can you just give the guy a chance to get better?”  


Peter grumbled something under his breath and kicked at the carpet. Whatever. Stupid Avengers. Stupid Deadpool. Stupid snitching Deadpool.  


“What was that peter?”  


He grumbled some more.  


“Fine. I said fine.”  


Peter was pissed. Both with the Avengers and Deadpool. He swung out the window, really hoping he wouldn’t have see or hear about that asshole ever again.  


And that’s how it all started; Peter hating Deadpool.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter continues hating Deadpool, but just a little less.
> 
> TW at end of chapter, please read, though it is not major.

Wade had to give credit to the kid, he was cute. Sure, he had a mask on, but that _butt._ The rest of him had to be cute. It was a fundamental law of physics or something.  


But he was a total asshole. It took a lot of effort for Wade to try and be good, and he even dropped his taco trying to save that girl. And then Spider-man waltzes in (more like flipped in, in a pretty hot way,but whatever) and ruins everything. And then even has the balls to say “I highly doubt you’ll ever be a good guy.”  


_He doesn’t even know me. Fucking prick._  


**[Such an asshole. I agree. But also...speaking of assholes. If y’know what I mean...] ******  


**{Yummy yummy yummy. Bounce a pebble off that bubble butt.} ******  


_Not fucking helping. We decided to hate him, remember? He pretty much made us feel like a pile of shit._  


**[Okay you big baby. So what if he said you’d never be a good guy. We say that shit alllll the time. Everybody says that shit all the time.] ******  


_Yeah but I mean he’s Spider-man. He’s practically an Avenger, we’ve always loved him. And it turns out he’s a total dickwad. And hates us._  


**{Never meet your heroes. Guess that’s true.}**  


_Well, I hate him too now. And he’s no longer my hero. But I will remember his butt fondly. But fuck that guy. Hahha. But fuck. Butt fuck. God I’m hilarious._

-

Since god hates Peter, and Peter hates Deadpool, they end up running into each other weekly.  


First, it was the bank robbery. It ended with a lot of shouting on both ends. A lot of swearing, too. Peter called Deadpool a “bumbling idiot with stupid knives” and Deadpool had called Peter a “pompous dickface”. At least they stopped the robbery.  


The second time, Peter ran into Deadpool rescuing someone chained to some train tracks (very looney tunes-esque, which was great comedic material). Peter called Deadpool a “mentally insane pervert” and Deadpool called him a “snobby bug person”. At least no one was obliterated by a train.  


By the third time, Peter was pretty much prepared to hightail it out of there as soon as he saw so much as a glimpse of black and red leather. Deadpool had followed the same screams that Spider-man had, but got there first. A man was cornering a woman in the alley. The guy was wearing a hood and had pushed the girl to the ground. Peter had seen enough to know where this was going, and apparently so had Deadpool.  


Deadpool ran up to the guy, katanas drawn, and knocked him out with the butt of one of his swords. Peter was crouched on the roof above, deciding he’d intervene if needed. The girl was pretty visibly shaking, and obviously terrified. Deadpool put his katanas away, and crouched down and started talking gently to the girl, completely ignoring the slumped figure of the guy he had just knocked out.  


“Hey..Hey. It’s okay. You’re safe now. That guy is going away, for good. He won’t hurt you, or anyone else.”  


The tone of voice was surprisingly soft and comforting. Something Peter had never expected out of the mercenary. The girl has started crying, and leaned into the leather clad arms in front of her.  


_Huh. This is not how I imagined this going._  


“I’m gonna call the cops, hon. You willing to stay? Have em get your statement?”  


She nodded, drying her tears on the handkerchief (???) Deadpool had given her.  


“But before that, let’s give him something to remember, huh?”  


The mercenary stood up, lifted his well-muscled leg as high up in the air as was humanly possible, and brought it down upon the passed out guy’s crotch. There was a sickening crunch and a howl of pain from the would-be rapist.  


_Ah yes. That’s more like it. That’s more of the Deadpool I’ve come to expect._  


Peter quietly shot a web away from the scene, satisfied that it was taken care of. Though not at all in the way he would have done it. Regardless, he did kinda have to hand it to Deadpool. He didn’t kill anyone, just maimed someone. And he was surprisingly sweet to the girl.  


Still an asshole, though. \- 

The fourth time Peter ran into Deadpool was Avenger-related. He had been called in as back-up for an alien invasion. New York City really could never catch a break. Deadpool apparently had also got the call, cause he was right in front of him when Peter landed on the roof of Stark Tower.  


They made squinty, peeved eye contact with each other and promptly looked away. No fighting in front of the bosses. Peter would, however, be sure to hunt him down and call him names afterwards. He looked around him. Pretty much everyone was there: Ironman, Black Widow, Thor, The Hulk, Captain America and even Hawkeye. Peter felt kinda small and unimportant, even when they all waved and smiled at him.  


Tony gave them the lowdown: spacecraft were spotted right above New York, highly weaponized and hostile. They had to take them out.  


“And yes, Deadpool, we would prefer it if you kill them.” Tony had answered Deadpool’s obvious question. Aliens were okay to kill, people weren’t.  


He kept on dodging left and right and trying to web the guns out of their...hands, or paws or tentacles. Whatever they were, they sure held onto those gun things pretty tightly. Just as Peter was beginning to think he was a bit outnumbered, he heard gunshots.  


_Deadpool?_  


Surely enough, the mercenary jumped from behind him, shooting rapid-fire at the aliens.  


“Looked like you needed a little help, dickwad.”  


_Fucking infuriating asshole_ , Peter thought, though he was a little bit grateful of the help. Just a little bit though.  


“Oh, shove it.”  


The two continued to fight, back to back now, as more aliens joined them on the rooftop. Peter would wrap them up in webs, then Pool would shoot them. Begrudgingly, Peter admitted that they made a kinda good team. In a few minutes the rooftop was cleared. Pool looked over at him, winked, and jumped off the roof.  
-  


Seeing Spider-man in action was kinda something else. Knowing that Spider-man hated him and thought he was an idiot, Wade took a distinct pleasure in helping the kid out. Turns out the kid was pretty damn strong, and had some pretty crazy reflexes.  


**[And a nice butt.]**  


**{Wonder what his face looks like, pretty hot I bet.}**  


_Now is not the time, I’m currently killing aliens. I have no time to think about that shit._  


It did make him wonder though. He looked over at the young man, who had just webbed up an alien in a few seconds. Wade was pretty sure he had to be hot. But for now he would picture him as ugly, for his own peace of mind. Maybe like Steve Buscemi’s evil, uglier twin or something.  


With them working together it really didn’t take long to kill all the aliens. Part of Wade wanted to stay and banter with the kid. Throw some creative insults (he had thought of a few pretty good ones since their last meeting) and maybe flip him off or something. But Wade had to be professional. Hell, there were aliens to kill. Kill. Oh man, he hadn’t been killing in a while. It was really feeling good to be in the middle of this kinda violence. Wade missed it a bit.  


**[Tell him he’s an idiot.]**  


**{Tell him he’s lucky we showed up. That’s pretty true anyways.}**  


_Do you guys think of anything but Spider-man? What about all the aliens I’m about to kill? Don’t you miss killing?_  


**{hmm...tell him he’s a buttface.}**  


**[No, tell him he’s a good argument for post-natal abortion.]**  


**{What about douche canoe? Assweasel? What are the ones we thought up earlier?}**

The fight was over in about an hour. The remaining aliens got in their spaceship (for lack of a better word) and flew off to wherever the fuck they came from. Tony was pretty pleased, as was Steve. As they reconvened on the top of Stark Tower, everybody was smiling and laughing with each other. Black Widow came up to Peter and put her arm around his shoulder.  


“You did pretty good out there, Spider-kid.” She purred into his ear. “I think we should be friends.”  


Peter smiled and looked at her, this was pretty much a dream come true. Black Widow was a badass.  


“Deal.”  


_Pretty successful day. Even if I did have to deal with assface._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: mention of possible rape. Not graphic, or mentioned for too long.  
> I told you there would be another chapter! Expect another in a day or two, or maybe later tonight if I'm feeling ambitious.  
> If you've read this far, I love you!  
> Also if you haven't guessed, [ ] and { } indicate Wade's boxes. Italics indicate internal monologue.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade and Peter start to hate each other less. I guess.

The fifth time Peter ran into Deadpool, he was kinda in a sticky situation. And by that, Peter meant he was tied up in chains with a gag in the mouth. Did he mention he was bleeding?  


The night had gone south right around the time he had entered the building. Peter was looking for some dirt on a well-known gang, hoping it could put the boss in prison for a while. Turns out, the place was heavily protected, and the goons that worked there were heavily armed. But hey, he was Spider-man, he could get out of this. Maybe.  


He had been stewing in his own blood and misery for about a half hour before he heard screams coming from the other room. _The Avengers?_ Peter hoped, half desperately.100% desperately. Though really, they had no clue he was here, and even if they did, might not even help him out. _Who else could it be?_  


His question was answered as soon as the door to his temporary prison was kicked down by none other than Deadpool. A little groan escaped Peter’s mouth. This was bit of an embarrassing predicament.  


“Well aren’t you a pretty picture? Would you mind too terribly if before I rescued you I got a painter over here? You’d look real good on canvas, baby. I kinda wanna frame it and put it over my bed. Everytime I’m feeling a little down I can look at it and think ‘Wow, I saved that asshole.’ I’m thinking oils. Kinda a Baroque style.”  


“Can you. Please. Just get me out of here.” Peter had no strength left to argue with the lunatic.  


“What about a picture then, huh? There has to be a camera around here somewhere. Maybe just a quick sketch?”  


Peter groaned, half from Deadpool’s comments, half from the gaping wound in his side that hurt like a bitch.  


“Alright, alright alright. I’ll just take a mental picture. One last request though, could you maybe say ‘Oh please, Deadpool, pretty please will you rescue me. I am just a damsel in distress and you are so strong and handsome and such a good guy!’”  


Another groan escaped Peter, though he was barely paying attention to the mercenary. He had to concentrate on not passing out.  


“Oooh, okay, spidey. I got ya.”  


After a few minutes and some prolific swearing (‘who the fuck tied you up’ ‘is this the fucking Gordian Knot or something’ ‘Motherfucker my fingers are too big for this’) Peter was finally free.  
He tried to stand up, but promptly collapsed to the ground.  


“Asshole…” He muttered, before blacking out into complete darkness.  
-  
So maybe this was bad. Wade always forgot that people other than him couldn’t survive this kinda shit. And right now Spidey was bleeding out beneath his feet.  


“Alright. This isn’t working.Time to get up, kid.”  


Wade tried shaking the younger man, but he was still slumped over. Lifeless.  


“Shit shit shit. Okay, this will not do at all. Not one bit.”  


He threw the kid over his shoulder as gently as he could, and hightailed it to the only place he could think of: Stark Tower.  


-  
So maybe bursting into the lobby of Stark Tower with a bleeding Spider-man was not the best idea. The receptionist looked like she was about to faint (though, really, she should be used to this shit by now) and a random civilian was pulling out his phone to record the mess.  


“Get me Stark, now!” Deadpool yelled, as forceful as he could be. The kid was practically dying on his shoulders and all anyone could seem to do was gawk.  


A few security guards rushed over, and the receptionist was on the phone yelling at someone.  


“Bring him up!” She yelled at the guards, and Wade decided he liked the girl.  


A few minutes later he was ushered into a room on the 30th floor, where Tony was waiting with a few nurses. They took Spidey off his shoulder and onto a gurney, before pushing him into something that looked like an OR.  


_Of course Stark had his own personal OR._  


The boxes had been surprisingly quiet the whole time, and they hadn’t even chimed in since they saw Peter pass out. The silence was kinda nice.  


“What happened, Deadpool?? Did you do this? What the fuck is going on?”  


Wade raised his hands in a defensive posture. _Try to do something nice and this is what I get._  


“No no no I’d never. I mean, the kid’s annoying and a bit of an asshole, but I’d never hurt him. I found him like this, and brought him over as soon as I could. You can help him right?? I didn’t know where to go.”  


Tony took a deep breath, and exhaled. He came up to Wade and put a hand on his shoulder in some attempt at comfort. The truth was that he was actually really worried.  


“You did the right thing. He’ll be taken care of here.”  


The knot in Wade’s chest since he found Spidey slowly unfurled. The kid would be alright. Everything would be fine. Tony tightened his grip on Wade’s shoulder, as if reading his thoughts.  


“You did good, Wade. You can leave now.”  


Oh. Wade hadn’t even thought of leaving. He kinda wanted to wait a bit, check up on the arachnid in a few hours, make sure he was still breathing. Lord knows he wouldn’t receive a text the next morning saying ‘Spider-mans all healed up.’  


“Maybe I’ll just stay a lil longer. Wanna be there when he wakes up so I can rub the fact that I saved him in face, y’know?” He muttered, kinda weirded out by the protective feeling he was currently experiencing.  


Tony smiled and lifted his hand. “Sure. You can hang out for a bit. I’ll let you know as soon as we get any news.” He left Wade shortly after, and all Wade could do was just stand there and wait.  


**[Wow. Who knew you could be so caring.]**  


Ah, there they were. No more peace and silence for Wade.  


**{Ditch the kid, let’s go get tacos.}**  


_I think I’ll stay for a bit. Doesn’t mean I care._  


Exactly. Wade definitely didn’t care about the little body bleeding out in the other room. He was just gonna stay to see things through.  
-

Peter woke up with a very intense pain in his head, and pretty much everywhere else. He looked around and didn’t immediately recognize his surroundings, which freaked him out. He had tubes in his arms and up his nose, and by the looks of it, he was in some sort of hospital.  


_What the hell happened?_  


Peter tried to remember what lead up to him being in a strange hospital bed, pain coursing through his body. And he really couldn’t. Fuck.  


Tony strided through the doors, smile on his face.  


“Would you look who finally woke up! I was a bit worried for a while there, kiddo.”  


“Um...Uh.” Was all Peter could get out. Tony Stark? What the hell.  


“Where am I?” There was a full sentence. _Good job,_ he mentally praised himself.  


“You’re at Stark Tower, of course. You’ve been asleep for two days.”  


_Oh shit oh shit. Oh shit._  


It all came flooding back to Peter then. Breaking into the gang headquarters. Getting his ass handed to him. Deadpool.  


_Deadpool?_  


“How did I get here?”  


Tony smiled and chuckled, as if he was thinking of some inside joke. Peter thought nothing was particularly funny about the situation.  


“Wa-Deadpool. Deadpool brought you here. You were all sorts of beat up.”  


“Deadpool...Deadpool helped me out?”  


“Yeah, Kiddo. He was all huffin and puffin in my lobby, looking for me, with you slung over his shoulder.”  


And wasn’t that a surprise. Deadpool had helped him, of all people. Saved his life, actually.  


“He just left a few minutes ago, when I told him you had woken up.”  


Oh. _Oh._  


“He was here...the whole time?”  


“Yeah, Peter. He was pretty worried about you. But don’t worry, I didn’t let him in. Didn’t want to let your secret identity become not-so-secret anymore.”  


Peter reflexively reached up to touch his unmasked face, and felt a jolt of pain in his side. He felt...all sorts of things. Surprised, grateful, and a bit embarrassed.  


_Deadpool saved me. And cared enough to stay._  


Some sort of weird warmth flooded his cheeks. Was he blushing?? Over Deadpool?? He pushed the weird feelings aside and tried to focus on the more important stuff. Like the fact that he almost just died.  


“Yeah. That guys always a bit surprising. Said he’d leave as long as I promised to text him when you were right as rain.”  


The weird warmth in his cheeks persisted. Deadpool _actually cared._ Like, actually cared about his well-being. What a thought.  


Tony took Peter’s silence as an excuse to keep talking “You’ll be out of here in a few days. Luckily your healing factor has sped things along. I’ll leave you to your rest.”  


And then the motherfucker left, as if he hadn’t just dropped a bomb on Peter. Now, all Peter could do was lie in bed, thinking about Deadpool.  


_I guess I should thank him...though I really don’t want to. He’s probably all smug and asshole-ish about the whole thing. God damnit._  


This really was the worst turn of events, ever. First, he almost died. Second, he was saved by Deadpool, the guy he really hated. But Peter really couldn’t bring himself to hate the mercenary at the moment. He had saved his _life._  


_Maybe I’ll buy him a Taco._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lmao I lied I posted this chapter like ten minutes after the last one whoops.  
> Still getting the hang of AO3. Who knew you had to do funky shit to make words bold and italicized? I sure didn't.  
> Enjoy!  
> Also, the enemies part doesn't last long. Sorry, I'm a fan of happy endings lol.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No longer enemies, but not yet friends. Tony makes another appearance. Boys are stupid.  
> If you catch the 'Drake and Josh' reference, I love you.

Wade was pretty surprised when Spider-man swung up right beside him, only a week after the whole ‘nearly died’ incident. The last time he had seen the kid, he was bleeding out on Wade’s shoulder.  


Spidey looked...kinda bashful and shy (side note:adorable) when he plopped his (stellar) butt right next to Wade’s.  


“So...I guess I owe you a ‘thank you’.”  


Well wasn’t this a turn of events. Spider-man, thanking _him._ Huh. Wade could get used to this.  


**[I missed that butt. Let’s rub it in his face that we saved him.]**  


Wade, surprisingly, really couldn’t bring himself to do that. After seeing the kid almost die, he didn’t have the heart.  


**{Heart? Let’s get realistic here.}**  


Instead, he shrugged and said “I’d do it for anyone. Trying to be a good guy, remember?”  


This was a bit far from the truth. Wade wouldn’t wait around for hours in some fluorescent lit room for just anyone. Did Spider-man look a little disappointed in his response, or was he just hallucinating?  


**[Hallucinating. Definitely hallucinating]**  


“Still…” Spidey started, a bit tentatively “You saved my life. So, thank you.” the last words came out in a big rush. He was clearly embarrassed.  


**{I’d be embarrassed too if I was saved by you.}**  


“No problem, Spidey.”  


“Maybe...I can buy you some food, or something? You like tacos, right?”  


Wade’s heart did a little stutter in his chest. In fact, he was pretty sure he stopped breathing.  


_Did Spider-man...just ask...to hangout?_  


There was no possible way that this was happening. Spider-man _hated_ him. Like, foamed at the mouth every time the word ‘Deadpool’ was spoken, kind of hate. There was no way in hell that he wanted to buy Wade food. And did he just say tacos? Wade swooned a little bit. It was probably just that the kid felt like he owed Wade something. He’d buy him a taco and swing off somewhere, and everything would return to normal the next day. Except, kinda, Wade didn’t want it to return to normal. Sure, he loved insulting the kid. It was one of his favorite past times. But maybe hanging out could be fun too.  


“Sure. I know a pretty great mexican place down the road. They don’t even question the masks. Though, I will warn you, your asshole may be on fire tomorrow.”  
-  
Peter was pretty surprised at how funny Deadpool was. And how relatively normal he could be. Though it was pretty awkward and jilted at first, they had been talking the whole time. Before Peter knew it, they had both finished their food and been talking for an hour.  


Sure, the mercenary was a bit inappropriate, and kept talking to himself. But it was all sort of funny, and a little bit charming. He was comfortable, weirdly enough. They were in the middle of making fun of Thor when the bill came, an obvious sign that they had stayed a bit too long at the joint.  


Peter quickly grabbed it and put some cash in the little folder.  


“Thanks, Spidey.”  


“It’s the least I could do, dude.”  


Deadpool smiled, or at least Peter thought he saw him smiling through the mask. Peter stuttered, feeling that same weird warmth in his cheeks again.  


“I should probably get going, it’s pretty late.”  


“Yeah yeah yeah sweet cheeks. I know you’ve got to get your beauty rest. Got a whole city to save, don’t ya?”  


Peter giggled a bit (um..giggling. embarrassing) and got up.  


“I’ll-I’ll see you around?”  


The mercenary looked up at him and winked. “Yeah. But next time I’m paying.”  


Peter was supremely grateful for his mask as a huge smile was suddenly plastered on his face. He twirled around and rushed out the door, trying to ignore the blush on his face and his rapidly beating heart.  
-  
The first time they hung out as not-enemies, Wade brought a bag of tacos. They talked, and laughed, and ate a shit ton of mexican food. Peter noticed that Wade was always really careful to not show his face, only pulling his mask up to shove a taco quickly in his mouth. Peter had always been really careful with his identity, but not _that_ careful. He chose to ignore it, and left his mask rolled up just a bit over his mouth.  


The second time they hung out as not-enemies, Wade brought ice cream.  


_God, this guy must be hungry,like, all of the time._  


Peter was currently in a fit of laughter as Deadpool described some story from years ago.  


“So my foot’s totally stuck in there right, I’m freaking out, the dog’s having a seizure and I still got half a pie left.”  


Peter was bowled over in laughter. Deadpool was ridiculous. Miming the whole thing and making funny voices. His humor could just be spot-on sometimes. It was in that moment that Peter realized he liked Deadpool. Like, they could totally be friends or something. A warm glow lit up his heart as the mercenary continued his story. Peter could get used to this.  


-  
A few days later, Peter was in Stark Tower in his civvies. He was there on a job, since he really needed the cash. Freelancing for the Bugle paid pretty well, but he still needed money. Stark had agreed to a mini photoshoot as long as Peter only photographed him from the left side. What a diva. It was worth it though, the shoot would put a pretty hefty wad of cash in his pocket.  


So he was standing there, camera in hand, about to take yet another photo of Tony holding a cigar in his hand (‘yes, peter. The cigar needs to be in the photo. Make sure you can see the label too, these cigars are pretty much impossible to find’) when Deadpool burst through the door.  


“Hey! Boss-man! Have I got some _news_ for you!”  


Tony sighed and put down his cigar, pointing at Peter with exasperation. “Can’t you see I’m a little busy here? Can it wait?”  


Deadpool followed Stark’s finger and raised his eyebrows with bravado.  


“Well, well, well. What have we got here? Who’s this cute little button? Tony, how long have you been hiding him from me?”  


Eek.  


“Wade, um. I mean, Deadpool. No hitting on the hired help.”  


Peter balked at that. He was so _not_ hired help. Okay, well, maybe hired for this occasion but that's it.  


“Oh , but come onnnn.” Deadpool whined “You can’t just put this delicious little specimen in front of me and not expect some flirting. I mean, look at the kid!”  


He really wanted to crawl into a hole and die. Deadpool, though they were now friends, still didn’t know his identity. Nerdy Peter Parker. _Why am I blushing??_ Peter pushed that thought to the back crevice of his mind that he reserved for repression. Now he really wanted to crawl into a hole and die.  


“Peter, you should leave. I’m sure you got enough shots.” Tony ordered him, and all Peter could do was stutter and stumble out the door.  


“Hate to see you leave, but love to watch you go!” Deadpool called from behind him, and Peter was pretty certain he heard the mercenary mutter “Who knew nerds could have bubble butts?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol. My writing style is very much 'wow I was just thinking of this let's write it'. So, essentially, the plot develops literally as I am writing it. That being said, I have the plot figured out up until a pivotal moment. And a little bit after that. So bare with me.  
> The amount of swearing in this is pretty normal to me (I also swear like a sailor) so I am sorry if it makes you uncomfortable. It gets worse as it goes on.  
> One of the main reasons I titled it "Pride and Profanity" is because I couldn't find another 'p' word to fit. lol.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They become friends, and Wade has some more saving to do.
> 
> TW in notes at the end of the chapter.

The first time Peter and Deadpool hung out as friends, it was at a hole-in-the-wall chinese restaurant. Peter had insisted they eat something other than mexican food, and Deadpool had stubbornly acquiesced. He was still thinking of a few days prior, when the older man had seen Peter without his mask on. It was kinda disconcerting, but he was surprisingly okay with it. In some weird, twisted way, Peter trusted the mercenary.  


They were talking over lo mein when Peter realized that the man across from him was no longer only shoving heaping forkfuls of food into his mouth every time Peter looked away. His mask was rolled up, and showed the face underneath.  


Peter was a bit shocked at what he saw. Scars covered every square inch of flesh. They looked painful. Before he realized he was staring, Deadpool quickly pulled his mask down and looked away.  


“Ah. So you saw it. My ugly mug.”  


Peter didn’t really have any words. He knew the guy had a crazy healing factor and had been some sick science experiment, but he didn’t know the whole truth. That was pretty apparent at the moment.  


“So...how did it happen?” Deadpool was clearly pretty insecure about the scars, and he felt bad for staring. Or even really asking about it.  


Deadpool sighed and looked down at his food, pushing it around with a fork.  


“Let’s just say my healing factor came at a cost. I got these ugly scars all over, baby. Not a pretty sight.”  


Huh. From what he could see, it really wasn’t that horrible. Suddenly, Peter felt really guilty. He now knew more about Deadpool than Deadpool knew about him. And Deadpool had even seen him in his civvies. He felt sneaky, and wrong.  


“Hmm… Well, okay. Now that I’ve seen it, can you stop pushing a shitload of food into your mouth every time?”  


Deadpool grunted out some laughter, and Peter began a tirade on how chinese food was way better than mexican food. The man was clearly grateful for the detour in the conversation, and if he acted a bit somber the rest of the night, Peter tried to ignore it.  


-  
The second time they hung out as friends, they were rudely interrupted. The two of them were sitting on a rooftop (per the usual) making fun of Thor again when a gang of masked goons attacked them from behind.  


When Peter came to, he was surprised by the fact that he recognized his surroundings. It was the same room Deadpool had rescued him from, which meant the goons that attacked him were the same from before. God damnit.  


Deadpool was chained to a chair a few feet away, and Peter exhaled a breath of relief. The man was alive. Though, really, the guy couldn’t die. So why was he even worried? And now he didn’t have anyone to rescue him. So, fuck.  


The only thing that peter could reasonably do in that moment was panic. Sensible, really. To panic.  


He didn’t have any wounds at least. A quick body check led him to believe that he only had a few bruises which would fade in a few hours. His web shooters, of course, were painstakingly covered, so there goes that. The chains didn’t budge an inch no matter how hard he struggled.  


So, yeah, panicking was the current move.  


“Deadpool! Deadpool. DEADPOOL!”  


“Yo. Kid. I’m awake. No need to yell.”  


“Uh” Peter gaped “We’re kinda in a hostage situation. I would think that that warrants yelling.”  


“Oh, shhh. We’re fine, sweet cheeks. You got any boo boos or anything?”  


“No. Also, we’re not fine. Not everybody can survive shit like this .”  


Peter was kinda beginning to really freak out. He had barely survived his last run in with this gang, and the only reason he did was because of Deadpool. The same Deadpool that was chained up next to him. Nice. He felt the walls begin to close in, and his breath became ragged and hurried. It felt like his lungs were rebelling against him; like he now had to constantly fight for oxygen.  


“Yo...kid. It’s okay. You’ll be fine. I won’t let anything happen to you. I got you. Just take a deep breath. Picture the ocean or something. Now let that breath out. We’re gonna make it.”  


He was trying his best to listen to the mercenary. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. But the gravity of the situation was just too _real._ If the gang could capture two supers (did he really just include Deadpool as a super?) , what more could they do?  


_Fuck fuck fuck._ Peter knew that the inevitable panic attack was coming, and he started to brace himself for it.  


“Hey! Hey ! Spidey. Look at me. _Look at me._ I’ve got a plan, okay?” Peter could barely turn his head to look at the man, but he did. It calmed him down fractionally.  


What didn’t calm him down, not one bit, was when Deadpool twisted his arm until it made a sickening crunch. _Um, what._ The leather clad arm was still strapped under the chains, but after a few moments of struggling, the arm was free. _Um, what._  


“So now, Spidey, I’m just gonna let this arm heal while I do the same thing with my other arm, and my legs.”  


Peter was silent. Disgusted, a bit impressed, and silent. The panic had begun to wane.  


“Some contortionist shit, huh? Kinda kinky.”  


And so it continued, limb after limb, until all that was left was the chest. For some weird reason, it was really calming Peter down. He trusted the man breaking his own bones enough to believe that this really could work.  


“Doesn’t it...doesn't it hurt?”  


Deadpool shrugged, broken limbs and all, and only winced a little bit.  


“Everything hurts, baby. Some things worse than others. This ain’t that bad.”  


He really wasn’t sure if it was normal to want to comfort a mercenary, but at the moment it was all Peter could think of. Except getting out alive, of course.  


After about thirty minutes, Pool slipped out of his chains and stood up.  


“Ta-da!” Jazz fingers ensued. “It’s kinda like a magic trick, huh? Now let’s work on getting you out.” The man kneeled next to Peter and picked at the chains. It was all eerily familiar; Deadpool saving Peter. Of course, this was no rope, like it was before. It was straight up chain, locks and all.  


“Well, fuck. Sweet cheeks. I’m gonna have to get creative with this one.”  


Peter groaned. He suddenly doubted he would ever get out of there.  


Naturally, the doors to the room swung wide open as soon as that thought popped into his head. About ten guys filtered into the room, guns raised and pointed at the two of them. They were both a bit helpless, and definitely outnumbered.  


A big, balding man wearing a suit strode through the pointed guns, chuckling the whole time. It was the boss.  


“You really think we could just let you go? No no no. That’s not how it works. I’m gonna make sure you both are no longer a problem.” The boss raised his hand, and all hell broke loose.  


The guns started firing at them, and in a split second Deadpool had jumped on top of Peter and shielded him. Bullet after bullet, and it felt like hundreds, hit the man draped across him. Peter could feel the reverberations of each impact. Blood soaked into Peter’s suit. It felt like eons before the shooting stopped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Some violence, some mention of a panic attack.
> 
> So, I say now that it will be 20 chapters. Will it be? Lord knows. I am beginning to regret my overuse of italics.  
> And yes, Peter is a total badass. That doesn't mean he can't be saved sometimes.  
> Thank you again for reading! Leave me love, I am a newbie.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade wakes up in the aftermath.

Wade woke up feeling like asshole. Not that he didn’t wake up every morning feeling like asshole. But this was a special type of asshole. Asshole after questionable mexican food. No, asshole after questionable mexican food with a side of hemorrhoids. Tasty.  


Back to the fact that he was waking up, cause fuck, when did he ever fall asleep?  


Oh wait. Oh yeah. That whole thing.  


Wade looked around him and was happy to realize he was in his own bed. Maybe it was a dream?  


**[Um. You stupid bitch. Would you be still be healing from 10 gunshot wounds if that were a dream.]**  


Alright. So he wasn’t dreaming. So that did all happen. Which meant...Spidey was somewhere, probably covered in Wade’s blood.  


**{Not the kind of bodily fluid we want to cover him in, if you catch my drift.}**  


He was also probably scarred for life. But hey, who wasn’t? Literally. Scarred.  


It was times like these (and pretty much any time Wade had thought of Spidey these days) that he really wished he had the kids phone number.  


**[If he’s dead there's really no use in having his phone number, y’know.]**  


_He’s not dead. He can’t be._  


How else did he wake up in his own bed, if the kid wasn’t alive? And also, where was his phone? Wade only had a little flip phone that probably dated back to the stone age, but it did the job. He really didn’t want to replace it, though he only had about two contacts and a handful of pictures. Livin off the grid.  


_Anyways, back to the mystery of how I ended up in my own bed. And where the fuck Spider-man is._  


**{Dunno why you think we would know. We’re just as useless as you are.}**  


“Will you guys ever just shut up? Like, permanently.”  


Wade struggled to get up and out of bed, but he did.  


In his (very messy) kitchen, there was a note on top of a few pizza boxes.  


It read : “Gang taken care of. Spider-man is safe. Good job. - Tony Stark.”  


That answered a few of Wade’s questions.The Avengers must have intervened. Tony knew where he lived, anyways, so that explained why he woke up in his own bed. He was also pretty damn relieved to find out that Spider-man was okay, though he wanted more details. For instance, was the kid emotionally scarred?  


Wade had taken bullets for other people before, it was kinda the deal when you couldn’t be killed. He hadn’t, however, taken _that_ many bullets for someone before. All he knew was that the kid had to be saved. Firstly, he didn’t want the kid to die. Secondly, he really didn’t want the Avengers to hate him. Also, he had thought of the spiderkid as a friend for a little while now, and trusted him. And he didn’t let friends die.  


What day it was, or what time it was, was still a bit of a mystery to Wade. It was either early morning or late at night. The darkness outside his apartment could at least tell him that.  


This is why, when a few moments later someone knocked at his door, he was completely surprised.  


No one knocked at his door, like, ever. No one, except Tony, knew where he lived. Still, Wade was a big boy and could deal with any stranger who showed up at his door. He did, however, make sure to grab one of his many guns and stash it in his holster before opening the door.  


And whaddya know, it was Spider-man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is super short, forgive me, but I have already written the next few and they will be posted shortly.  
> Most of these chapters are short, but they just ~work~ for me. Maybe I will make it to 20 chapters after all.  
> Wade's POV is HARD


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The big reveal. Feelings are felt. Feelings may be repressed.

Wade hadn’t realized how much he was hoping Spider-man was alive until he saw him on his doorstep.  


He made no move to open the door further.  


“How’d you find out where I live?”  


Spider-man shuffled his feet. He seemed fine. No holes in his costume, no blood, no anything.  


“Tony told me.”  


“Ah.” Wade should’ve known Tony would do this kind of shit, though he really didn’t mind at the moment “Figures.”  


Spider-man walked up to Wade, confident and gentle, slowly opening the door further and shutting it behind him. He was quiet, but there was something in the way he moved that spoke volumes. Wade had almost forgot what it was like to be around someone who trusted you completely. It was a feeling of comfort, of happiness; of ease. Wade was also surprised that the kid hadn’t commented on the absolute disaster that was his apartment.  


“I think I owe you something, Deadpool.”  


The words came tumbling out of the younger man’s mouth with little hesitation. Wade’s heart could not help but beat a little faster.  


“You’ve saved my life two times now, you’ve took _bullets_ for me.” Spider-man continued, looking at the floor and then finally straight at Wade. “I trust you, and I feel like you deserve to know the truth about me.”  


The kid inhaled deep; the action moving his ribcage, flexing the muscles in his shoulders. With the exhale, he stepped forward, inching into Wade’s personal space. The boxes were silent. Shut up completely by the fascinating man in front of him.  


“My name is…” and Spider-man lifted his mask up in one quick movement before continuing “Peter Parker.” His hand outstretched to Wade, as if to shake hands. “It’s nice to meet you.”  
Wade was stunned. Floored. This gesture of trust was something that Wade would have never expected.  


He hadn’t felt this way in so long: He felt _good_ about himself. If Spider-man, one of the best guys out there, trusted _him_? There had to be something good in there.  


But what was perhaps even more shocking was the face beneath the mask. It was Peter. The photographer. The cute little nerd who was taking photos of Tony that one day. Up close it was even better. Peter had huge, brown eyes, kind of like bambi. They almost didn’t belong on such a toned, muscular body. But with Peter, it was perfect.  


Wade wanted to say that name again and again. Peter. _Peter_. Peter. He felt warmth blossom through his chest. He wanted Peter (Peter!) to know that Wade felt he, too, could put all his trust and faith in the kid standing in front of him.  


Wade gulped. Apprehension, now, made a sudden appearance. His face was ugly. Distorted. Scarred. Nothing like the smooth pale skin Peter had. Would it scare him off? Make him lose his trust? Wade couldn’t bear that, but he also couldn’t bare having Peter think he didn’t _trust_ the kid. Cause he did. Even if he just realized it.  


“I-I...My-My name is… Wade. Wade Wilson. It’s nice to finally meet you.” He grasped the extended hand and shook it feebly. He didn’t want to do what had to happen. But after only a moment of hesitation, he felt eased by Peter’s eyes. Friendly and warm. Wade grabbed the bottom of his mask, and as if he were ripping off a bandaid, removed it.  


“This is me. Scarred and all that bullshit.”  


Peter smiled. And Wade thought the other man must be crazy. Peter raised his hand, as if about to touch. But the hand retreated, and Wade winced with the loss. The need to deflect, to downplay what had just happened, overcame him.  


“So. Peter Parker. That’s kinda a dorky name you know. I should have known you’d be a nerd. I mean when I saw you at Tony’s! God you looked like such a dork!” Wade was desperate to gloss over the fact that he had unabashedly hit on the nerdy little boy who had turned out to be Spider-man “But anyways, y’know our names are both alliterations. Kinda cool huh. Meant to be buds.” And with a half-hearted chuckle, Wade playfully punched Peter in the shoulder.  


Peter grunted out a laugh.  


“Wade, huh? Should’ve known you’d have a lame name.”  


The tension in the air had fizzled, leaving Wade relieved. He took Peter’s head beneath his arm and messed up the younger man’s (surprisingly soft) hair. It was all back to normal.  
-  
Peter left Deadpool’s (Well, now it was Wade’s) apartment with a smile on his face. He hadn’t wanted to tell the guy his identity, but he felt that it was right to do so. Though he wanted to protect Wade, he knew the man could fend for himself.  


Hell, he got into enough trouble on his own. There was nothing more that could really harm the man. And besides, Peter needed to show Wade that he trusted him. He had needed to show how much he appreciated the ex-mercenary, and that he was glad that they were now friends.  


Peter had felt almost overwhelmed by the trust Wade had placed in him as well. He knew the scarred skin was a topic that Wade avoided like the plague. Even so, he had bared himself to Peter. Exposed himself. His smile grew wider at that.  


He knew the scars were considered ugly, but now it was just part of Wade. It showed pain, and vulnerability, and all the things the man had been through. But those eyes, they were big and expressive. They looked at Peter in shame, searching for some sort of acceptance. Peter wished that Wade knew that he truly did accept the man.  


He might be crazy, he might be violent, he might be scarred; but he was Peter’s friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter! What can I say, I live for the cliffhanger.  
> I really don't mean to skirt over Wade's issues. He has plenty of them and rightfully so. In my story, he is trying to be a better guy, and trying his best to be a hero.  
> Also, grammar? Proper use of punctuation? I don't know them.  
> I am updating a shit ton as I transfer my current writing to AO3. This crazy updating schedule will end soon, but will hopefully pick up soon after. I haven't been able to stop writing about these dorks.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some time passes, Wade and Peter are now best buds. Natasha is an all-knowing lesbian. They have their first fight.

Months passed. Peter was doing well at the Daily Bugle. Though he was still a freelancer, he had been given a few assignments that didn’t even have to do with Spider-man. Peter was also on good terms with the Avengers. After they had busted the gang, they had taken Peter under their collective wing. Tony was nicer, Steve was friendlier, and Natasha and him had even started hanging out. It was nice to have someone, other than Wade of course, to talk about all this shit with.  


And Wade. Well, Wade had become a common occurrence in his life. They no longer just hung out on rooftops together. They spent time, in civvies, together. In fact, Wade was currently on Peter’s couch, stuffing a chimichanga in his mouth. He had taken to leaving his mask off around Peter these days, though the rest of the suit stayed on no matter what. Wade was blabbing about some plot hole in Friends. Something about birthdays. They had watched every episode of the series together at least twice.  


“So, Rachel says that she was born in May, right. And then later, she says she’s an aquarius! Like does this girl not know anything about astrology, or do the writers just not care about consistency?!” Wade ranted, bits of chimichanga falling out of his mouth.  


Peter sighed and shook his head, bringing a napkin over and flopping on the couch. He handed the napkin to Wade, who wiped his mouth off with it. Wade continued blabbing about plot holes.  


He stole a bite of the chimichanga, which went relatively unnoticed, it only elicited a glare and a pause in the babbling.  


“Anyways, you don’t even want to get me started on Chandler and his fucking memory loss. I mean the guy forgets so much shit! Like, he knew rachel, and then acts like he’s never met her? What’s up with-” Peter interrupted Wade by placing his finger over the mouth of the older man, effectively shushing him.  


“As much as I would love to hear about this some more, and trust me I’m dying to, I asked you over here to help me. Remember that? I’ve gotta go through all of these photos and pick the best ones, and I want your opinion.”  


Wade grumbled but acquiesced, motioning for Peter’s shitty laptop “Fine, I’ll look. What is this for anyways? Just so I can fully grasp the tone you’re trying to portray.”  


“It’s for the Daily Bugle, they wanted some more shots of Spider-man. I want the photos to look like I’m doing something good, y’know? Like I’m a hero. The Daily Bugle never seems to think so, but maybe one day.”  


Wade guffawed, and his voice started to get heated (like it always did when Peter’s honor was questioned) “Oh pish posh! Fuck the Daily Bugle. You’re, like, the best hero out there. The Bugle should be kissing your ass. They’re all asshats. If I hadn’t given up killing-”  


“Okay okay! I get it. Thank you. Now look through my photos please.”  


Finally, Wade did just that. Though he struggled with the computer that was probably as old as Peter, Wade made do with only a little grumbling. After what seemed like 17 years of raised eyebrows, head shaking, and nodding, Wade handed Peter the computer back. “These are my favorite ones.”  


“These are all pictures where my butt is the focus, Wade.”  


“And it would be a shame otherwise! You want the public to love you? Show them your butt! It’s arguably the best part of your bangin’ bod, Petey.”  


He sighed. Classic Wade.  


Admittedly, he did like the attention. He really hadn’t been laid in a while, and this was the only female or male attention he’d gotten. Frankly, the lack of action in his life was getting a bit old. But he hadn’t found anyone he had liked enough to fuck for a long ass time. So now, he would put up with the butt jokes, if only to boost his ego.  


“Can you be serious, please? The rest of my rent is riding on these photos being good enough.”  


“Sheesh, sweet cheeks, way to make me feel like the bad guy. I’ll look again, gimme the computer.” Wade made grabby hands and Peter ignored the fact that he found it adorable.  


“Okay, okay. This time, I really did pick out the best ones. Here ya go.” The computer was finally handed back, and Peter was pleased. The photos that were picked out were definitely some of the best of the bunch. He really hoped he could get good money for them.  


Money wasn’t necessarily an issue, but he had really hoped to be more financially stable by the time he was 25. And that was coming up in a few days. It was just so difficult to keep any semblance of a routine when you were constantly fighting bad guys. Sure, he got through college and had a bachelor’s degree. But now, all he really had the time for was freelance photography for the Bugle. And he had gotten his degree in physics.  


“Thanks, Wade. I’m getting really tired of all this photography shit. Sometimes I wish I could do something else.”  


Wade’s head cocked to the side, and he looked at Peter inquisitively.  


“Petey, you could pretty much do anything. You know that.”  


The man was oddly serious, and it kinda unsettled Peter.  


“Yeah...well. I don't know. My first responsibility is to this city as Spider-man, what kinda job besides this-” he pointed to the computer screen full of photos “is gonna let me do that?”  


_I really wish I could do something in Physics. Make something. Do something. Make something better._  


“You should use that degree of yours, sweet cheeks. I’m sure you spent a pretty penny on it.”  


Wade was a fucking mind reader. _God damnit_. He always had the uncanny ability to tell what Peter was thinking, and call him out on his bullshit. It was annoying.  


“Yeah. Well. I doubt that will ever happen.” He paused, before shutting his laptop and meeting Wade’s eyes “Now tell me more about Chandler.”  


Wade was more than pleased to continue, and the babbling picked right up again. But Peter wasn’t paying attention. All he could do was think about his place in life. And how it wasn’t what he always wanted for himself. Being Spider-man changed things, but it didn’t change everything.  
-  
“Natasha! Over here!” Peter waved from his seat at the coffee shop that was just a block from his apartment. It was cozy and unpopular, so Natasha and him had taken to it immediately.  


They met every once in a while to talk shit about the Avengers, their lack of love lifes, and their lack of careers. Misery loves company.  


Natasha slid into the seat across Peter, graceful and feline as always.  


“So, what’s up? How you been? How’s your boyfriend doing?”  


Peter spit his drink out. Luckily, it didn’t hit Natasha, or else his own dick would have been served to him on a platter in about ten seconds.  


_Who the hell is she talking about? Wade?_  


“Who the hell are you talking about? I don’t have a boyfriend, you know that.”  


Natasha shook her head “I meant Wade, you stupid boy. How is he?”  


Oh.  


“Oh. Well, he’s fine. Been pretty busy helping out Tony lately. He’s not my boyfriend, by the way.”  


“I know, I know. No need to be so defensive. You guys just hang out _all_ the time. A girl gets jealous sometimes.”  


It was true. Peter hung out with Wade more than anyone else. He’d visit Aunt May when he had the chance, get coffee with Natasha, sometimes grab lunch with MJ, but he would do pretty much everything else with Wade.  


“I’ll pay more attention to you from now on, I promise.”  


“Don’t get a girls hopes up, Peter.”  


From there, the conversation continued into the usual fare.They made fun of Tony, they made fun of Thor. They talked about Natasha’s most recent conquest (since everybody on the planet besides Peter was getting laid), and they talked about Wade’s latest foray in cooking. It was pancakes.  


Everything was going swimmingly before Wade appeared. He swung the door open in full gear, whistling ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’. He immediately plopped his butt right next to Peter, and put his arm around the smaller man. Peter hunched under the weight of Wade’s massive arm, and sighed. And then groaned. And then hid his face in his hands. He really didn’t want to see Natasha’s face right now.  


“What’s up, buttercup? Saw you through the window and thought I’d join!”  


Peter peeked through his fingers and looked at Natasha. She was surprisingly not mad. In fact, she was a little smug. There was even a little devious smile.  


_Suspicious_ , Peter thought, _Suspicious indeed._  


Wade tightened his grip around Peter.  


“Well, would you look at the time! Peter, honey, I’ve got to get going. But I’ll see you in a few days for your birthday.” Natasha leaned forward, dangerously close to both Wade and Peter, and plopped a kiss on Peter’s cheek. Wade’s grip on Peter was now like a vice.  


She leaned away, and strutted out the door, only stopping to wink and say “Bye, Deadpool.”  


Moments passed. Nothing was said. Peter was pissed.  


“Could you let go please. I’m kinda pissed at you right now.”  


That shocked Wade out of whatever internal crises he was apparently dealing with, and he looked down at Peter in shock.  


“What? What did I do?”  


“Um! You totally just crashed Natasha and I’s coffee date.”  


“Date?”  


Peter got up, extracting himself from the heavy arm that was still draped across his shoulders.  


“You and I don’t have to spend every waking moment together. I have other friends too, Wade.”  


He left the coffee shop and headed home, not looking back to see Wade’s expression. He wouldn’t have been able to see it with the mask anyways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason, I think that the idea of Wade being obsessed with Peter's butt is just fabulous. I would go into detail ranking all the Spider-man butts here, but I will spare you. (that being said, the new Spider-man game has given Peter a HORRIBLE butt. complete pancake. It's just unrealistic.)  
> Also, in my world, Peter is 24 almost 25. He graduated from college, but had no time to pursue anything with his degree. Such is life.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The angst has (almost) begun. Peter turns 25.

Wade felt like shit.  


Nothing particularly new in his life. But it sucked.  


So, yeah, there really was no reason for him to join Peter and Natasha. And he wasn’t really just ‘passing by’. Was it jealousy he felt? Or was it something different? He wasn’t sure. All he knew was that the idea of Natasha and Peter hanging out without him didn’t feel great.  


Yeah, he didn’t have some sort of ‘hold’ on Peter. The kid could hang out with other people. Like maybe his Aunt. That was totally acceptable.  


So what really did Peter have to be mad at? Nothing. Nada. It was no big deal. They spent a lot of time together, so what? They were friends.  


**{Exactly. He has no right to be mad.}**  


**[Agreed.]**  


Wade thought that if his boxes agreed on something, it probably wasn’t the best choice. However, he was now pissed at Peter for being pissed at him.  


_So there, Petey. He can go have fun with his other friends. I don’t care._  


Blatant lies were one of Wade’s specialties.  
-  
It was the night before Peter’s birthday, and he was pissed.  


Wade had not once called, texted, or dropped by one of the rooftops Peter frequented.  


Did the man not know that in a few short hours, Peter would be 25? A quarter of a century?  


It was weird that they hadn’t spoken in a few days. The radio silence between them felt _off_ , and more importantly, fucking bad.  


_Aren’t I supposed to be mad at him?_  


Yes. He was. The tool had interrupted him and Natasha, and scared her off. Though Natasha made no big deal of it when he texted her to apologize, it was still annoying.  


But what would be even more annoying was Wade forgetting Peter’s birthday. A quarter of a god damn century! Not to mention the fact that Peter felt like he was about to go through a quarter life crisis. No biggie. He’d just have to get drunk by himself, then.  


He kinda felt pathetic for feeling this way after not seeing Wade for like, two days. He really didn’t want to think about that. But alas, he did.  


_Why didn’t he call? Send a text?_  


Maybe Peter just valued their friendship more than Wade did. Maybe Wade was just a tool. There were plenty of reasons, and before he could begin analyzing all of them, he went and grabbed the vodka.  


What was it about Wade that made him so crazy sometimes? When he first met the guy, he felt crazy mad. Just a few days ago, he felt crazy mad. Now, he was crazy mad again. Crazy, crazy, crazy. That was Wade.  


Peter made the decision to text MJ and see if she was free. She wasn’t.  


Neither was Natasha. He was almost certain Aunt May was already asleep, or he would’ve given her a call. He might be desperate.  


He definitely was _not_ calling Wade. Nope. Nopedy nope. Never again. That was it, the end of their friendship. If he didn’t say Happy Birthday, it was all over. Was this the vodka talking? Maybe so. Whatever.  


Peter made the move from his kitchen to his couch (this took approximately one second and two steps) and slumped down. He turned on the TV. Friends was playing. Classic. He switched the channel, not before taking a long swig from the bottle of vodka.  


This was fine. Everything was fine. None of his friends (three people, mind you) wanted to hang out, he was stuck in a tiny apartment, and was still taking photos for the Bugle. It was gonna be a romcom type of night, then. 

-

The next morning, Peter woke to the smell of pancakes and coffee. He guessed it was Aunt May, the only person who had a key to his place. He was happy, and just a bit hungover. But coffee and pancakes fixed everything.  


He opened up his bedroom door, clad only in boxers and a baggy t-shirt, and found Wade in his kitchen.  


“Good morning! Let myself in through your window, hope you don’t mind. Happy Birthday sleepyhead!” was the jovial greeting Peter got, as well as a cup of coffee planted firmly in his hands.  


He couldn’t help but smile. Last night he was so worried about everything, and Wade was here. Making him pancakes. And he had said happy birthday. Peter was willing to overlook the breaking and entering, though he would have to remember to lock his windows.  


“The pancakes aren’t quite ready yet, but in the meantime you could open your present?” Wade waggled his eyebrows. There was, indeed, a big present on the kitchen counter. It was bright pink, wrapped in about five different bows. Peter felt like a kid on Christmas morning.  


He took a sip of coffee and then a seat at the counter. He unwrapped the box, ripping the wrapping paper to shreds (something that delighted Wade) and opened it.  


Inside was a pair of underwear (boxer briefs) with a Deadpool logo on it. Peter shook his head.  


“There’s something else in there, sweet cheeks. Though I will get mad if you don’t wear these every single day of the rest of your life.”  


Wade was right, there was another box underneath the underwear. He pulled it out, a bit confused. Inside the box was a brand new laptop. It was a macbook. Brand spankin’ new, and incredibly expensive. Peter’s jaw proceeded to hit the floor.  


“Wade-Wade….”  


“Oh shut up. I almost got you a new camera, but figured a laptop was better for whatever sciencey shit you want to do.”  


“But Wade...Wade this is too much.”  


“Oh, pish posh, Petey. You know I’m loaded. You deserve it, anyways, for putting up with all my shit.”  


Peter held the laptop close to his chest and smiled even wider than before. That was probably the only form of apology he’d ever get. And the gift was so generous, so thoughtful, he felt indebted to the man in front of him. There he was, maskless, and for once suitless. Wearing a big red hoodie and grey sweatpants.  


Peter gulped. How did he not realize until now that Wade’s bulge was very, very visible in those sweatpants? He blushed. But any bulge sighting was blush-worthy, right? No matter how impressive, and Wade’s was pretty impressive.  


“Um-Uh. Thank you, Wade. This is the best birthday present ever.”  


Wade smiled at that, his eyes crinkling, the scars contorting with the movement.  


“Just wait until you try these pancakes.”  


They eventually made it to the couch, hands full of plates stacked to the brim with very delicious pancakes. Peter devoured them in approximately 5 seconds, and Wade devoured them in 4.2.  


Wade put his plate on the side table, and pulled Peter closer. So close that his back was right against Wade’s crotch. Peter was very, very cognizant of the bulge behind him, for he had just sighted it in the now infamous (to Peter at least) grey sweatpants. He willed the oncoming blush to fuck off, and settled in the best he could.  


It was the best birthday he had had in awhile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wade is the ultimate supportive boyfriend and no one can tell me otherwise.  
> They are also both DUMB and STUPID. But, hey, same.  
> I picture that Peter watches 'When Harry Met Sally' kind of fitting, right? Now regretting the Pride and Prejudice comparison, and am wishing I compared it to that movie. But, alas, I am a ride-or-die Jane Austen Bitch. She's probably rolling in her grave rn.  
> Also if you don't know how much a macbook costs its like a bajillion dollars. I am currently typing this on a $300 dollar windows laptop. I may be jealous.  
> Also, *gasp*, there is a mention of something slightly sexual in this? God damn.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Wade attend Tony's annual Christmas party. The angst _really_ begins. Peter has a revelation.

It was December. The city was cold. New York did not have the gift of dry winters. Instead, every moment outside felt like you were sitting in an ice cold bathtub.  


December not only meant bone-chilling temperatures and snow, but also Tony’s fabled Christmas (and every other holiday celebrated during the winter months, Tony was sure to make known) party.  


This year, Peter and Wade were invited. It was to be quite the occasion.  


Peter dressed in a rented suit (he was poor, okay) and took a cab to Stark Tower. He was meeting Natasha and Wade there.  


In the cab, Peter looked down at himself. He cut a pretty nice figure in a suit. The suit fit him perfectly, even though it was a little tight.  


The cabby pulled up to Stark Tower and Peter struggled to pull out the cash to pay him. He was so _not_ used to paying people to bring him places.  


Walking into the building, he was immediately directed to the 60th floor. How fancy.  


When he finally made it to the 60th floor, Peter hesitated in front of the door. He hadn’t seen all the Avenger together in while. He was no longer intimidated by Tony or Natasha, but all of them together, that seemed a bit scary.  


Luckily, Wade and Natasha would both be there.  


He swung open the door into the party. Immediately, he spotted Thor, Tony, Bruce and Hawkeye (Clint, but they really weren’t on that level yet). He gulped. Everybody waved, and then returned to their conversations. Tony, however, came up to him and patted him on the back.  


“Glad you came, kid.”  


“Thanks! It’s great to be here.” Peter sounded like a dork. Let the internal groaning commence.  


“Kid, remind me to talk to you later about something. I have kind of a proposition for ya. But first, I have to mingle.” Tony left Peter to himself, standing in a crowd of very important people he barely knew. Nice.  


Thankfully, Peter finally found Natasha. She was standing near a table, drink in hand, and another drink right next to her.  


“Peter!” She called him over.  


He rushed over, thankful that he didn’t have to make any small talk with anyone quite yet. That would require hard liquor.  


“Hey! Natasha, great to see you.” She smiled, and handed the drink on the table to Peter. He wanted to kiss the ring on her finger and declare his fealty.  


“Good to see you too. Glad you finally made it to one of these shindigs.”  


At the moment, Peter was kinda stewing over what Tony had just said to him. It was odd. A proposition? Seemed weird. Maybe pervy.  


“The weirdest thing just happened, Tony-” Peter pointed at the man who was currently talking to Thor and drinking whiskey “Just said he had a ‘proposition’ for me. Do you have any idea what the hell he could mean?”  


Natasha smiled again.  
“Oh, yeah. He was telling me about this earlier.”  


She paused, taking a sip of her drink, making Peter extremely anxious.  


“He was telling me how he wanted to hire you.”  


Shocked was not the proper word to describe how Peter was feeling right now. Flabbergasted? Dumbstruck?  


“What.”  


“Yeah. Apparently, your little boyfriend Deadpool was talking Tony’s ear off. Telling him how wasted your potential was. Tony, of course, agreed. He wants to hire you to work in one of his labs. Do some science shit.”  


Now, Peter was floored. Floored that Tony was even considering him. Floored that Wade had tried to set him up like this. It was all a bit crazy, really. He felt like he owed Wade so much, and now this?  


_He really cares, doesn’t he?_  


It felt like just yesterday when he was telling Wade his problems. And this could really be the solution. He could _make_ things. And for a powerful, successful company at that. It was all he really wanted. He could maybe even go back to school. Wade had read his mind yet again.  


“Clearly, you’re a genius. I don’t know why Tony hadn’t thought of it sooner.” Natasha continued, glancing at Peter with yet another smile. “That boy of yours really knows how to look after you.”  


“He’s not my boy.” was Peter’s reflexive response. But maybe Wade _was_ his boy. He did all this, after all.  


As if the heavens were listening to his every thought, Wade chose that moment to walk into the party. He was outfitted in a _very_ nice suit. The clean, tailored, lines fit Wade’s body like a glove. He was still wearing his mask, as he did in every public situation, but he looked really good.  


Like, really, really good.  


The man walked over to Tony, greeting him. He had not seen Peter yet, evidently, as he continued to mingle.  


Peter tried to calm his suddenly erratic breathing.  


Wade, after making the rounds and grabbing a drink, slunk his way up to a girl. A girl wearing a very pretty red dress. This was horrible.  


_Well, fuck. this was getting complicated._  


He looked at the man standing across the room from him, and the only thing he could think was "fuck" . He was stupid. Stupidly beautiful. Stupidly funny. Stupidly smart.  


_God damn motherfucking shit._  


He needed to leave, like yesterday. There Wade was. Standing in the corner, talking with some girl, beer in hand. Not a care in the world. acting as if he hadn’t just ruined Peter’s life, the asshole.  


And who was this girl? Who was this beautiful girl? Who was managing to get him to smile and laugh all within moments of meeting? Peter couldn’t hold it against her, she was a third party to the madness that had just been unleashed. An innocent bystander.  


But god damn it Peter kinda wanted to knock her out right now. Maybe spill some wine on that pretty dress?  


"Peter..Peter! Earth to Peter! I swear to god have you been possessed by some demon with the mouth of a sailor? You keep on saying 'fuck' every few seconds. Peter! Pete-!"  


"Fuck! What?! " he ended up yelling as soon as some of what Natasha was saying filtered through the current tornado ravaging his head right now.  


_Wow_ , he thought, _I should really swear less._  


"For god’s sake Peter what are you even thinking about right now? You look like you could kill a man." Peter made a mental correction to Natasha’s rant. It was a woman he wanted to kill, not a man. Bad feminist, that was him.  


"Do you want to kill a man? Who is it? I’ll help. I’m pretty handy with blood stains y’know, one of the many benefits of being a woman. And an assassin." Natasha’s keen eyes had managed to seek out who Peter had been eyeing so intently before he could even attempt to look elsewhere. Those eyes got huge, glimmering with newfound juicy knowledge.  


Peter knew the look well. A cheshire grin materialized on Natasha’s face, and her eyes got all squinty and cocky. As if Natasha had just found the cure to cancer or read all the FBI files on aliens, not like she had just found the one person that was making Peter act like a hyperactive chihuahua with a swearing problem.  


"So what’s the deal, hon? Why do you look like you want to rip the hair off that girls head?" she drawled, pausing to sip her cocktail and lean in closer. Peter reacted to this like any person caught in a lie: Deny, deny, deny.  


"I really don’t know what youre talking about. Don’t even know her." It was a lame reply, but frankly he was not functioning at full efficiency right now. Half of his brain was still mulling over how good Wade looked in that suit, and the other half was focusing on _oh my god did she just put her hand on his arm oh my god._  


So, yeah. That left pretty much no brain left to be making any solid excuses.  


"Yeah...you’re right. But…wait!" Natasha gasped, putting her free hand over her mouth in a very dramatic fashion. "Who is that she’s talking to? Could it be?"  


Peter had started shaking his head as soon as that hand went up. Not enough brain activity to deal with that right now, nor enough vodka. Which is why Peter quickly yanked the cocktail out of Natasha’s hand and downed it in one gulp. Natasha was still putting on dramatics, whispering "No...it couldn’t be... is it? Are my eyes deceiving me?"  


"Natasha I would very much like to exclude myself from this narrative right now. Or at least have another cocktail. Has anyone ever told you to stick to your day job?"  


"Tsk tsk, Peter. You get so grumpy when you’re confronted about your feelings."  


"Well, I’ll have you know, I don’t have any feelings. So, there." The urge to stick his tongue out at her was very tempting, but hey, he was 25. An adult. So he flipped her off instead.  


This elicited an eye roll, and a very lengthy sigh.  


"Whatever, Pete. Stew in your own feelings then. You should probably stop foaming at the mouth though, I think he’s noticed. "  


_God damn motherfucking shit._ She was right. Wade had looked over, a question in his eyes even with the mask on.  


"Again, no clue what you’re talking about. " Peter huffed, and focused on the very interesting paper napkin sitting on the table he was standing next to as Natasha slinked off. It was just fascinating. 

Peter was definitely not looking out the corner of his eye at Wade, who had just laid a hand on the girls shoulder and laughed.  


Where was all the inappropriate flirting? The bravado? The boisterous, annoying, sweet, lewd comments? Did wearing a suit really change Wade that much?  


_Enough questions, god damnit. Focus back on the napkin. What color even is this? Plum, maybe? Beautiful pattern around the perimeter._  


His mental babbling was interrupted by none other than Wade himself, sidling up to Peter, planting his hand on Peter’s butt, and finishing with an exuberant "What’s up, sweet cheeks."  


Ah, no. The suit didn't change anything. Unless... nope, no.  


_Don’t go down that rabbit hole._  


Unless, of course, when Wade really liked someone he could be a fully functioning adult and not joke about butts every five minutes.  


_Yep, wow. the rabbit hole is really dark and depressing._  


Peter was pretty sure that anyone within a five mile radius could tell that he was freaking out. His eyes were huge and the gears grinding in his head were definitely making noises.  


"Hey...Petey. Peter. Pete. Er. " Wade waved his hand in front of Peter’s blank stare, before lowering his own head and following Peter’s line of vision. Which was of course still focused on the girl Wade was just talking to.  


"Well, well, well Petey my boy. I had no clue that was your type my man! She is gorgeous though right?? She even gave me her phone number, can you believe it? What a hot piece of ass." This, of course, snapped Peter out of his existential crisis and throttling back to reality.  


_Hot. Piece. Of. Ass. Phone Number. Fuck god damn shit fuck._  


Unwarranted jealousy flooded through Peters body. It seemed to consume him whole. He felt the gnawing heat reach his cheeks, making him blush like some sort of heroine in a romance novel. Images of Wade and this girl, entangled in sheets, sweaty bodies writhing against one another filled his mind. Her tiny hands running up and down Wade’s scarred skin, something that Peter had only barely got a glance of. He could hardly stand it.  


Wade had noticed the younger man’s silence, of course. Silence was not something Wade dealt with well.  


"Wow you’re really that hot for her, aren’t ya? I knew you had it in ya Petey. But I don’t really share. Not even for you sweet cheeks. I’m a bit of a jealous guy" And with that, Wade winked, smacked Peters butt once more for good measure, and sauntered over to the lady in question.  


And the thought of _that_ ; Wade being possessive. God, that was enough to make Peter just wanna cry.  


"I don’t share" started replaying over and over in his head. It was just too much. Before he even knew it, Peter was walking out of the room and on to the balcony. He hoped the cold air would cool down his obvious flush. "I don’t share." Those words still sent a jolt through him. Heat tingled up his spine. Until he remembered who Wade’s jealousy was really about. That girl.  


Then the heat was replaced with something else entirely. A cold, dead, weight in his stomach, and a sudden inability to breathe. This was really getting too complicated. He had never even thought of Wade as anything other than a friend before tonight. Did he? The short answer was no. The long answer was well no but he’d always thought Wade was objectively hot and that he was really fun and could actually be pretty sweet.  


So, yes. He had definitely been thinking of Wade as something… _more_ for a while now. No wonder Natasha was sick of his shit. The sudden desire to jump off the balcony, swing himself home and promptly crawl into bed now consumed Peters thoughts.  


Logically, he knew that that was one hell of a risky move. He hadn’t brought his suit, since this was an Avengers party. So there was no way in hell he could let himself, Peter Parker, be seen swinging through the city. Still, the tears that threatened to make an appearance at any moment were really soliciting an escape plan.  


Peter looked back inside. It was merry, and light and warm inside. Everybody talking and laughing, all of his closest friends celebrating.  


He decided he hated it and needed to leave immediately.  


It was pretty easy to sneak his way through a crowd of drunk people. They barely noticed he was there, too enraptured in the brilliant conversations they were having with each other. He had even heard "So, Bruce. Ever got a boner when you were the Hulk?" Peter didnt see who had asked the intrusive (and frankly, something Peter suddenly desperately wanted to know the answer to) question. But he could pretty much hear the blood rush to Bruce’s face.  


God, he would have to tell Wade about that. Wade will be so upset he wasn't the first one to think of that question.  


_Okay. No. Stop. Stop it Peter. You should not be thinking of telling Wade about this when you are literally trying to run away from him._  


Peter’s inner monologue raged on as he continued to sneak through the crowd. He had almost made it to the door, and he had almost finished berating himself mentally for being such an idiot, when someone yanked him up by the arm. It was natasha. Of fucking course.  


Her nostrils flared, as if she could smell the sadness and desperation coming off Peter in waves. Actually, he wouldn't be surprised if she did.  


"Running away, are we?"  


"Me, run? Away? No, just um..." he looked around desperately, looking for a way out of this conversation. He spotted a dirty napkin on the ground, and grabbed onto it like a lifesaver.  


"I was just picking up trash! Y’know? Thought I could help out Tony y’know keep his place clean."  


"How thoughtful...it’s not like Tony is a billionaire who can afford his own personal cleaning service or anything." Natashas voice purring into his ear was like velvet. Judgemental velvet.  


"Come on, pretty boy. Lets go." She turned around and headed for the door, pulling Peter with her. At this point, he really didn’t care. He let himself be pulled out the door, only looking back once.  


And there Wade was, standing there, staring at Natasha manhandling Peter, oddly silent and oddly still.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't thought about the Hulk's dick, you're lying to yourself.  
> Anyways, mwahaha, the angst begins. Unrequited love? Thats my shit. Not actually unrequited love but you think it is? Oooh yeah thats my shit.  
> This was, again, the first thing I wrote. I had to go back and edit it and add to it after I wrote what happened before, but I'm pleased. I even had written MJ in instead of Natasha, can you imagine? She will make an appearance later on, though.  
> Thank you for reading. Leave me love, I live off of feedback. I'm a parasite.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade has a revelation. His boxes are assholes.

"Wow. Who knew? Natasha and Peter?"  


"I know right? I mean they are always talking, but I never thought that they would be like...together."  


"I mean...Spider-man and the Black Widow. Kind of a perfect couple if you ask me. Both spiders."  


"Don’t black widows eat the males after sex?"  


"Oh shut it Bruce, you know what I mean."  


-  
Well, fuck. Was that true? Natasha and Petey?  


Wade’s boxes were practically vibrating.  


And not in the good way. they were vibrating in the 'my fucking alarm is going off and I’ve only been asleep for two hours' kinda way. Not the 'vibrating dildo' kinda way.  


**{Natasha and Petey. Whoo hoo doggie! That’s a hot couple.}  
**

**[Yeah I mean...imagine being in the middle of that spider sandwich.]**  


_Not helping, you guys. Not helping at all. And no one says 'whoo hoo doggie' , yellow._  


Wade was really, really confused. Firstly, what had he just seen? Natasha whisper to Peter seductively and pull him out of the room, and Petey, who absolutely hates being manhandled for your information, allowed himself to be pulled.  


Just like that.  


Okay so maybe it wasn’t a seductive whisper maybe it was just friendly or maybe Natasha was pulling Peter out of the room so she could...fight him or something. It was an avengers party after all.  


But then why would Bruce and Steve be whispering about the pair like they were...y’know...fucking?  


Wade really wanted to punch something. Maybe even kill something.  


**[Oh come on, dude. What did you think? Did you really think sweet cheeks ass of a god Peter was gonna be single forever? He’s fucking Spider-man. I’m surprised this didn’t happen sooner.] ******  


_Again, not helping._ Wade then began the long torturous task of convincing himself (and his boxes) that he didn’t care.  


Petey should be out there getting laid. He’s young, and smart, and beautiful. He should be out there, enjoying himself, and getting some ass.  


**{Haha. You make me laugh. That was so funny dude.}**  


**[Yeah, like really? You see someone talking to Peter and you get all ragey and jealous.]**  


_So. Not. True._  


**[Keep telling yourself that bud. I mean didn’t you just walk over to Peter as soon as you noticed he was talking to Natasha?]**  


**{Yeah. you were pretty damn jealous in that moment weren’t ya.}**  


_I was so...okay so maybe just a little but that’s just because I’ve barely talked to Peter the whole party okay._  


**[Yeah. And you weren’t jealous at all when you saw that he was staring at that girl like she was some sort of meal.]**  


**{Imagine if Peter looked at us like that...mmm like a meal. Imagine being Peter’s meal. Oh mannn you gotta add that to your list of fantasies dude.}**  


And, well, the boxes were right. He did experience a little flare of jealousy and all consuming rage when he saw Peter talking to Natasha. And when he was looking at that girl. And when he talked to pretty much anyone in a mildly flirtatious manner.  


And, okay, he was definitely feeling a little heated right now. But just, y’know, molten lava level heated. Not surface of the sun level heated.  


**[Wow, you’re right. You don’t care at all. Cool as a cucumber.]**  


And shit, if that wasn’t something to think about. Sure, Wade wanted to get in Peter’s pants. Who doesn’t? But he also wouldn’t do that because Peter and him were friends.  


He was one of the few people that actually got him, and accepted him. No way in fuck did Wade want to mess that up. Hell, Peter had even seen Wades whole ass face and not immediately thrown up. He had just, kinda, smiled softly. Like he was happy to see it or some bullshit.  


_Well, fuck. this might be a stickier situation than I thought._  


The truth was that Wade had always had a crush on the younger man. But Wade couldn’t really deal with feelings like that so well anymore. It was too painful. So every time he had any sort of warm gooey feelings he just kind of...shoved them away.  


Peter may have been okay with seeing his face, but what about the rest of him? And all of the problems that Wade had. Ex- mercenary. Homicidal tendencies. Talking boxes in his head.  


Wade was a mess. Peter was perfect.  


So what was the harm really in repressing those feelings every time he saw Peter? Peter deserved better. and frankly, Peter would never feel anything other than friendship for Wade.  


But now that Natasha of all people was doing...something with Peter, Wade really couldn’t help but think about all that he had been ignoring. Wade had never seen Peter with another woman. Or a man (but pretty sure petey was straight anyways).  


**{Ha! 'another woman' like he’s yours or something. You’re really making us laugh tonight. Whoo hoo doggie.}**  


Wade ignored the boxes. there was no time for chit chat. Time for violence. or sex?  


Wade looked next to him where the girl was still standing, draped across his arm, seemingly unaware of the tense rigid posture he had been standing in the past few minutes as he argued with the voices inside his head.  


This beautiful girl was just served to him on a platter. This was kinda a once in a lifetime opportunity here. A gorgeous piece of ass, clearly into him. Wade didn’t really get this kinda karma.  


**[She could really help you blow off some steam.]**  


**{Mmmmhmmm. Mmmmhhmmm.}**  
But honestly (What was with all the honesty tonight? What about good ol’ fashioned repression god damnit?!) the thought of even continuing to touch this girl felt wrong. Weird and wrong.  


Wade hadn’t even really hit on someone (besides Petey, duh) for the longest time. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had really looked at someone and been like wow, I wanna tap that.  
Sure, he had been talking to this girl (she has a name y’know) and he had called her a hot piece of ass (which she was, very nice too) but his heart, and more importantly his dick, was just not in it.  


And now as soon as Natasha fucking Romanoff had just dragged off Peter to probably do some dirty things to him, the thought of having sex with someone else just felt dirty.  


**[Haha, there you go again. 'Someone else' like you’re gonna have sex with Peter. lol.]**  


"Fucking stop it!!"  


Oh.okay. So that was out loud, Wade thought to himself, since every single person in the party was now looking at him.  


Luckily he was Deadpool and its nothing less than they had come to expect. A quick wave and a little chuckle was enough for everyone to go back to their drinks.  


The girl, however, tugged on Wade’s arm. "What was that, are you okay?"  


Now he felt guilty. This poor girl was just being nice. This poor girl gave him her number. Wade was pretty sure he was ruined forever. No more sex for him. The hottest woman (or man) alive could hit on him and he’s end up turning them down. How nice for him.  


"Look...sweetums. I gotta go. It was nice meeting you. You’re far too good for me. "  


Wade extracted himself from her arms, and left the party. He had some anger to get out.  


_No killing though, Peter wouldn’t like that._  


Yeah, it would just be some maiming. Take out some bad guys or something. Shoot some kneecaps.  


Wade was almost feeling better until he stepped until the hallway outside and saw Natasha and Peter huddled in a corner.  


He couldn’t see Peters face, since Natasha had her back to Wade, effectively blocking the kid’s face from view. But there was movement. Some groaning.  


_Holy fuck are they making out??_  


And with that Wade bolted in the opposite direction, feeling very very self-destructive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't you just love it when boys realize they have feelings?   
> This was one of the only Wade POVs that has been fun to write, lol.   
> Also, Natasha is a lesbian and could care less about having sex with Peter. Should I make a love interest for Natasha? Oh wait, I already have. At least two.   
> Thank you for reading this far! Hope you like it so far :)


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha attempts to be a therapist. Vodka also attempts to be a therapist. Everything is FINE.

"C’mon Peter, just talk to me. We’ve been standing in this hallway for ten minutes and all you’ve done is groan and not look me in the eyes."  


"Ughhhhhh Natasha just leave me alone. I wanna go home and get drunk. By myself. Can I just be miserable in peace?"  


Natasha sighed. This was getting annoying.  


She had dragged Peter out here so she could talk some sense into him, and she was getting nowhere. Stupid Americans.  


Stupid boys, actually. That’s why she preferred girls anyways.  


Natasha had Peter cornered, and she grabbed the lapels of his shirt and forced eye contact with the little weakling.  


“Look, all I know is that you were glaring at the girl Wade was talking to. And all I know is that you and Wade are practically glued to the hip these days. So...all I know is that you’re jealous right now."  


"Ughhhhghhhhh Natasha stop. Godddd I don’t want to talk about it!!"  


"You like him, don’t you." She stated this as a fact, not a question.  


Natasha had obviously known Peter liked Wade, she had figured it out a few months prior when Wade had told some stupid unfunny joke and Peter had just giggled like a schoolgirl. Obviously, there were some feelings.  


Her declaration was only followed by a series of groans and moans.  


"That’s it. You and I are going out and getting drunk."  


-  
And so they did. Natasha and Peter hit up only the skankiest of bars. And so they imbibed. Vodka, whiskey, tequila: the works. Natasha easily outdrank Peter, even with his superhuman metabolism. But she was Russian. And no one could outdrink a Russian.  


It had honestly been one of the most fun nights Peter had in while. Natasha made him feel free and careless. She knew everything about him already. There was nothing really to fuck up. No identity to hide. No feelings to hide.  


After a few stops, It was just them, taking shot after shot with the bartender at some biker joint. She was tall, menacing, probably Russian, and ridiculously hot. The owner knew Natasha by name, obviously. She had even greeted them both with a kiss on the cheek. Though, admittedly, Natasha’s kiss on the cheek was more like a kiss on the lips (more like a tongue down the throat).  


But Peter was drunk! Natasha could kiss practically anyone and he was pretty sure he’d start clapping. Which of course he did. Kissing was definitely a clap-worthy occasion. Not that he was kissing anyone anytime soon. And wasn’t that hilarious!  


He took another shot to chase away any images of a certain older man’s lips.  


That was probably a mistake, actually. Even drunk Peter was at least a little aware that he was toeing the line between ‘I’ll remember part of this tomorrow and be embarrassed’ and ‘I won’t even remember my first name’. But hey! Repressing wasn’t quite working...maybe forgetting?  


Cause Peter definitely needed to forget seeing that bottom half of Wade’s face. It was scarred, yeah. Hideous? Nah. Looked like it hurt.  


_Like all the boo boos needed to be kissed away. Smoochie smoochie smoochie. What would it feel like against lips? Ooh or..tongue?_  


“Peter! останови его!” Natasha yelled, her hands still locked around the neck of the bar owner, who was also sending a murderous Russian glare his way.  


_Ouch. How did she know what I was thinking about? Scaryy girl. Haha. Scaryy._  


“Перестаньте разговаривать.” She muttered, and returned to the very important task of making Peter super jealous that he didn’t have a hot biker bartender to kiss him.  


But more importantly, Peter thought it was very weird (also awesome) that Natasha was just so attuned to his thoughts, she could really read him like an open book. She knew he was thinking about stuff he shouldn't be! What a friend she was.  


_Was it the spy training? Or our newly formed unshakable bond? I mean we have become like...best friends forever. I mean she just GETS me._  


“You’ve been talking this whole time, idiot.”  


It took Peter a few seconds to comprehend. And then he shrugged, and passed out on the bar, muttering something about ‘Spider pals”.  


-  
With the morning came a sense of doom. A killer headache, too, but mainly a sense of impending doom. He was in his own bed (check), wearing the same clothes as last night (check), had his phone and wallet still in his pocket (check) and was alone (check).  


_So nothing that bad could’ve happened last night. I just got blackout drunk and don’t remember anything. That’s fine. _  
__

It was not fine.  


Peter tried desperately to piece the evening together, and started with the first memory he could dredge up from his booze soaked brain. Spoiler alert, it was not a good one.  


_I remember being at the party, and I was talking to Natasha...and then Wade walked in...and he was wearing a Tux and talking to some girl. Oh and yeah he had convinced Tony to hire him. Which just happened to be a dream of mine._  


So _that's_ why he got blackout drunk last night. Okay, okay. That was cool. That was _fine_. Never been better. It's not like Peter had just realized he had feelings for his best friend last night, cause that would have been BAD.  


_But wait_ , Peter thought, _that’s exactly what happened._  


“Shit shit shit FUCK motherfucker!” he yelled, while squirming against his blankets and pounding his fists on the mattress. This fucking sucked. So, he groaned about it some more.  


__“Ah! My little детка! You are finally up. I made coffee!!”  
_ _

__A strange, but familiar voice called from outside his room.  
_ _

_Who the fuck is in my house right now._  


__Natasha fucking Romanoff then swung his door open, cup of coffee in hand. Of course, of course it was her. Was he really so hungover that he couldn’t recognize Natasha’s voice? She had been speaking in Russian, too. Probably saying something demeaning.  
_ _

__“Why..are you here? What time is it? How did I get here?”  
_ _

__“You really need to stop waking up with no clue what’s going on. It’s not cute.”  
_ _

__“Rude. You’re rude in the morning.”  
_ _

__“I’m always rude. It’s part of my charm. Anyways, you and I got drunk last night. You passed out at a bar, I took you home and slept on the couch. Satisfied?”  
_ _

__He grunted. Natasha was a good friend. He needed a dose of reality.  
_ _

__She moved over to the foot of his bed, sat down, and tentatively looked at him. _Suspicious._  
_ _

“So, you like Wade.”  


Peter squeezed his eyes shut and covered his face with his hands. This had to happen sometime.  


“I think so. Well, I know so. I’m definitely, weirdly, attracted to him. And I definitely like him. And like, want to hold his hand. Which is _fucked_ Natasha. It’s fucked.”  


Natasha was really deep in her role as a therapist. She nodded, and questioned him further.  


“Why is it fucked?”  


“Um. Natasha. It’s obvious. Wade is a great friend, yeah. And yeah, he always compliments my butt. But Wade and feelings? They don’t mix. Wade is not the type of guy to want a boyfriend, even if he _did_ like me like that. And I’m the kind of guy who needs a boyfriend.”  


“You’d be crazy to think that Wade doesn’t care about you. I know he does. _You_ know he does.”  


“Yes. But that’s not the point. There’s a difference between caring for someone and wanting to be with them. Wade might care about me, but he doesn’t want to be with me. He was literally all over that girl last night! That’s it. I’ll move on.”  


Natasha nodded some more. It was kind of getting annoying.  


“Did you ever think that maybe, just maybe, you should try anyways?”

_Uh, no._ “Uh. No. I don’t want to ruin our friendship. He’s one of the best friends I have. I don’t want to fuck that up.”  


She looked at him with that horrible judgmental look she always had when talking to Peter.  


“Fine. I’ll let you figure it out yourself.”  


Peter decided Natasha would definitely not make a good therapist. She didn’t have the patience.  


“It’s already figured out. Now, can we please never speak of this again?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, firstly, all the Russian in this is totally copy and pasted from google translate. So, if you speak Russian, I am so sorry.  
> Secondly, I totally picture Peter as Ross in that one scene when he's like "It's FINE. I'm FINE."   
> Thirdly, thanks for reading! Thanks for all the love too.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade deals with feelings.  
> TW at end of chapter.

He took the stairs, finding some sort of peace in the slight burn in his muscles.  


**[Can you believe that it’s actually true?]**  


**{Natasha and Petey, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G}**  


Wade tried his damned best to ignore his boxes. He needed to fuck some shit up, let his mind go blank for a few hours.  


He had finally reached the streets outside the Stark Tower when he heard screaming.  


_Perfect._  


Wade ran in the direction of the screams, unsheathing a knife from somewhere in his tux pocket. Always be prepared.  


If a few people started screaming, too, when they saw Wade running with a knife in his hand, Wade took a little pleasure in it.  


Only a few minutes later, and Wade had found the source of the screams. It was a woman, backed into a corner by another would-be rapist. Wade really wanted to kill the man.  


He wasted no time being sneaky, and approached the man with his knife by his side. He was ready.  


The man noticed Wade almost immediately, but didn’t back away from the woman.  


“Leave, now, before you regret it.” The man called, one hand had a gun in it, the other was now over the woman’s mouth.  


It really pissed Wade off. He kept on walking towards the man, and barely noticed the first bullet to his chest. And the second. Wade wanted more. He wanted pain, he wanted to _give_ pain.  


The man in front of him was clearly afraid now, and let the woman go. She ran out of the alley in a flash. Wade was glad. She didn’t need to go through all that, _and_ see a murder.  


Wade kicked the man in the knee, delighting in the crunching sound. In a few blows, the man was on the ground, gun kicked out of his hand.  


Wade stood above the man, and wasted no thought on what he was going to do next. It was an instinct, one he had long repressed.  


He lifted his knife, and did what he had to do. The man was dead. He would no longer hurt women.  


-  
He pushed open the door to his apartment and walked in. His boxes were chattering. His mind was full of images of Peter, and his heart full of a weird guilt.  


The killing wasn’t enough. He wanted it all to go away.  


Wade took a gun off his coffee table, and lifted it to his head.  


The last thing he thought before pulling the trigger was that damn, he definitely wasn’t getting the deposit back on his tux.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mention of possible rape, violence, and suicide.
> 
>  
> 
>  If you wanna skip that part, I summed it up at the bottom of these notes. I don't always like reading about that kind of stuff sometimes. 
> 
>  
> 
> Lol, sorry.  
> This was hard for me to write! I don't like writing about people dying lol, but it needed to happen.  
> Also, with some context, Wade killing himself is literally just a way to find some peace and silence.  
> P.S I know this chapter is short and sad so I am posting another one right after this. I don't write this fast usually I just have a lot of tidbits of writing that needed to be finished and then published. Or so I say.
> 
>  
> 
> Summary: Wade is angry. Wade is sad. His boxes are mean. He kills a rapist. Then, in order to find some peace, shoots himself in the head. Poor Wade!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things happen.

Peter was sitting in his living room. The city lights outside his window were bright against the darkness. It was raining, and the sound of pitter patter was calming.  


There was a knock at the door.  


He got up and went to answer it, stretching his arms above his head. His ragged T-shirt that was two sizes too small rode up, and settled a few inches above the waistband of his pajama pants.  


Peter unlocked the door, and opened it just a little. It was Wade. Wade stuck his body further into the doorway and swung the door open completely. Peter had no choice but to move backwards, his back hitting the kitchen counter. Wade looked frantic and desperate. He was wearing his Deadpool suit, and had begun walking towards Peter.  


Before Peter could even correct his breathing, Wade’s body was flush against his own. Peter caught a whimper in his throat.  


Wade leaned down, his masked lips brushing against the tips of Peter’s ears.  


“I want you.” He whispered. That was all it took for Peter to come undone. He fully whimpered now. His body instinctively pressed itself against Wade’s; seeking out the warmth.  


Wade groaned. The sound reverberated through Peter.  


In one movement, Wade’s mask was off. And in an instant, Wade’s mouth was upon his own. They slotted together, hot and wet. Peter’s mouth opened slightly wider, letting Wade’s tongue plunge deeper.  


Wade’s hands ran down Peter’s body, leaving trails of fire. Peter felt like he was shaking, coming undone at the seams.  


Wade’s large hands cupped Peter’s ass, squeezing. He lifted Peter up onto the counter. Peter vaguely heard the sound of plates falling to the floor, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.  


Now, Wade’s crotch was level with his own. Jolts of electricity tingled up Peter’s spine. He reflexively thrust against the growing bulge, eliciting a moan from Wade. And god, if that wasn’t the hottest sound he’d ever heard.  


Wade’s hands moved to Peter’s waistband, and hurriedly pulled the pants down. He wasn’t wearing any underwear, and his cock sprung free, desperate for friction.  


Peter felt so exposed, and yet so comfortable. Wade looked down at him like he was some sort of treasure. He could soak in this feeling forever.  


Wade trailed his hands over Peter’s hips, narrowly missing Peter’s dick. Peter was sure he was trembling now. Wade’s hands trailed further down, and he knelt down, maintaining eye contact with Peter the entire time. He spared a glance for Peter’s dick, fully hard now. 

Wade smiled, looked up at Peter with those huge, expressive eyes, and took Peter in his mouth.  


“BEEP BEEP BEEP.”  


_What?_  


“BEEP BEEP BEEP.”  


_What the fuck was that?_  


“BEEP BEEP BEEP.”  


Peter jolted out of bed. It was his fucking alarm. He was dreaming.  


_Fuck, fuck fuck._  


He grabbed his phone and quickly shut off the alarm. It was 8am.  


_Oh yeah, I’m supposed to meet Tony today about the job._  


Looking down, he realized that he was definitely hard. Painfully so.  


Peter hobbled out of bed and headed to the shower. He needed to get ready to see Tony. And, um, take care of his problem.  


He tried to not think of Wade the entire time. He was only a little successful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LMAO.  
> I'm such a tease.  
> I, firstly, wanted to write some real full-on smut finally. (theres gotta be some more pining and misunderstanding before THAT can happen) Secondly, I really couldn't leave it on the sad as fuck ending of the last chapter.  
> And honestly, it's gonna be a little bit until there is some more smut.  
> I SAID it was gonna be 20 chapters, but I'm pretty damn sure I was lying. Sorry. It's gonna be more. We shall see how much more, though.  
> Hope you liked it! Thanks for all the love lately, I appreciate every little bit of it!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade and Peter are both in a funk.

It had been days since Peter and Wade had spoke. Usually, Peter would have been worried. Now, it was kind of a relief.  


He thought that if Wade appeared, right now, he’d lose it.  


The feelings would be all over his face, he’d probably get an instant boner, and Wade would know. He’d just know. Then, Wade would be like ‘oh haha oh my god you're such a loser having feelings oh my god’ and then their friendship would be ruined forever.  


But at the same time, despite all that, Peter desperately wanted to see him.  


He wanted things to go back to normal. Pre-revelation. Pre-bullshit.  


He wanted Wade here, on the couch, babbling about some conspiracy theory. He wanted Wade, here, his mouth around Peters co-.  


Alright. Definitely couldn't see Wade just yet. That dream, well, he hadn’t stopped thinking about it.  


He would just be carrying on with his day and then all of a sudden an image would flash across his mind. An image of Wade, whispering in his ear ‘I want you’. An image of Wade looking at him like he had been waiting for this forever. Though he wanted things to go back to normal, he wanted it to be like _that_ even more.  


Stupid feelings.  


What he really wanted, right now, was to tell Wade about his day. About how he was starting his new job on Monday, and how excited he was. He wanted to thank Wade for all he had done.  


Before Peter knew it, his phone was in his hand and he was typing out a message to Wade.  


_What’s up? No, that’s lame._ He deleted the message, his thumbs moving in a flurry.  


_Haven’t heard from you in a while, what’s up? Nope. Too desperate._  


_How’s it hanging? Also lame. Very fucking lame._  


His fingers typed out one last text ‘Got a new job! Starting on monday.’, and with only a moment of hesitation, he squeezed his eyes shut and sent it. Then promptly threw his phone as far away as possible.  


Peter got up and started cleaning his apartment. Anything to take his mind off this bullshit. He only checked his phone every five minutes for a reply. Wade always replied lightning fast. Peter had checked his phone 7 times and no reply yet. That was fine.  


He was in the middle of reorganizing his fridge when his phone buzzed. To say that he ran to the couch as fast as non-humanly possible would only be a slight exaggeration.  


It was Wade. It read ‘Cool.’.  


_What the fuck?_  


There were no emojis. No congratulations. No multiple texts all sent within seconds of each other. Just ‘Cool.’  


_Is he mad at me or something? Does he know? Did he already fucking figure it out and that’s why he hasn’t been talking to me?_  


Literally every possible bad thing that could have made Wade text that response flitted through Peter’s mind. Some would call it overthinking. Peter called it ‘thoroughly analyzing the situation.’  


When Peter had come to the conclusion that Wade did, in fact, hate him and knew about everything and was disgusted, his phone buzzed again.  


‘Wanna grab tacos later and tell me all about it?’ It was Wade.  


_Oh. Maybe he doesn’t hate me._  


Peter waited the obligatory five minutes before replying ‘Sounds good.’  


_Cool, calm, collected. Don’t care at all. We’re just buds.Friendly friends._  


-  
Peter was sitting in a booth at the restaurant Wade and him had agreed upon, wearing civvies. His heart was beating uncomfortably fast. Not at all how your heart is supposed to react to just having dinner with your friend. Not at all.  


Wade walked in, a hoodie and sweatpants over his suit. The man sat down across from Peter, looking as awkward as Peter felt.  


What Peter had feared most had inevitably happened. His heart jumped into his throat at the sight of Wade. He couldn’t help but look at him in an entirely new light. Every little thing about the man now seemed perfect. The way he walked, how tall he was, the fact that the hoodie he was wearing had Hello Kitty on it. Every little damn thing. He was in trouble.  


“So, tell me about this job.”  


As if Wade didn’t know. Peter looked at the man across him. He was slumped, staring at the table, not even looking at Peter. What the hell was going on?  


“Um..well. Tony hired me to work in one of his labs. It’s pretty much a dream come true. I’m really excited.”  


Wade nodded, and started flipping through the menu in front of him.  


“That’s cool kid, good job.”  


Something had to be wrong. If this was any other day, Wade would have cheered and whooped and hollered...He would have picked Peter up and twirled him around.  


Instead, Wade was just sitting there, acting like he didn’t even really care.  


“So...um what’s up with you? Haven’t seen you in a few days.” Peter feared that he sounded needy. He _was_ needy, but Wade didn’t have to know. Truthfully, all Peter wanted to do was crawl into Wade’s arms and hug whatever bad mood he was experiencing out of him.  


Very needy.  


“Nothing much.”  


Okay, so, maybe Wade was actually mad at him. _Why did he even invite me out then?_  


“You okay?”  


The question seemed to change something in Wade. Snap him out of his funk just a little.  


“Oh I’m good, I’m good. Just tired. Tell me more about the job.”  


Peter nodded and continued, eager to fill the awkward silence between them.  


-  
Wade was in pain. Emotional pain.  


After the whole Christmas party debacle, and the whole killing debacle, Wade had had a knot in his stomach. It was a horrible mixture of guilt, ooey-gooey feelings, jealousy and regret. He hadn’t seen the kid on purpose. He wanted to take back so many things, and have everything back to the way it was.  


But just looking at the kid, listening him blab on about his new job like some excited toddler, it only made it worse. He felt guilty for acting out like he did. He felt ooey-gooey feelings every single second he looked at Peter, thought of Peter, heard Peter speak. He felt jealousy every single time he thought of the party. And he felt regret for who he was, and what could never be between Peter and himself.  


It was a goddamn rollercoaster. The boxes weren’t helping either. Every single time Wade had managed to put his mind to something else, the boxes were there to remind him.  


But he couldn’t just cut the kid off. He’d rather deal with the pain and still be there for the kid. Still see the kid.  


“So, yeah. I’m really excited about it. Hopefully I won’t have to take photos for the Bugle anymore.” Peter finished.  


Wade was glad he had talked to Tony about the job, it made him feel a little better that at least Peter was happy.  


“So...Wade, did you have a good time at the party?” Peter asked, looking weirdly sad.  


“Yeah. Great time.” This was a lie. “What about you? Where did you go off to?”  


_Nice segue, not inquisitive or intrusive at all, asshole._  


“Oh, well. Natasha and I left and went to some bars. Got pretty drunk, Natasha even had to spend the night.”  


Just when Wade thought it couldn’t get worse.  


**[Haha! So they did bang. Knew it.]**  


His vision went kind of red. He felt so horribly angry and sad, the knot in his stomach was now a pit. He hadn’t even ordered yet and he wanted to leave.  


“Oh. Nice.” It was not nice. “Y’know, I don’t feel well. I’ve gotta go.”  


He booked it for the exit, and ran all the way home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! Never did I expect this many people to read, and like, my story. I thought it would get like 10 hits lol.   
> anyways, enjoy this nice little segue of angst. Things will happen soon.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are not well.

Things were not well. In fact, you could go so far as to even say they were shitty.  


It was Christmas in 5 days, Peter started his job tomorrow, and he had to go to an Avengers “meeting” in about ten minutes.  


Just yesterday, Wade had walked out on their dinner, claiming he wasn’t feeling well. Peter wondered if Wade really was sick, or if he was just sick of Peter.  


And now, he would almost certainly see Wade at the meeting. How wonderful.  


But, hey, as Ross from Friends would say, I’m fine.  


Peter had mentally prepared himself for rejection anyways, so this wasn’t even that much worse. It helped him sleep at night, okay. Not that he was really sleeping much these days.  


What Peter wasn’t prepared for, however, was for Wade to act like a total asshole. And that was exactly what he was doing.  


Not necessarily to Peter, Wade had decided instead to ignore Peter. It was all directed at Natasha. For no reason.  


Mumbling things under his breath every time she spoke, interrupting her, glaring at her maliciously-all of his asshole behavior was directed at Natasha.  


If Peter wasn’t already mad at Wade for ignoring him, he was definitely mad at Wade for treating Natasha like shit. Sure,Wade could be an ass, but in more subtle ways. He would usually make mean jokes, not act like a toddler in time-out. It was all very confusing, and very annoying.  


The meeting was pretty quick, and at the end of it all Peter wanted to do was get out of there and apologize to Natasha. Not that he was Wade’s like mom or anything(though it sometimes felt like it).  


She was clearly pissed, but surprisingly calm about it. No weapons drawn, just a murderous look on her face.  


As Wade walked out of the conference room (pointedly ignoring both of them) she shot him a look that could have killed a regular man. She was definitely going to confront Wade.  


Peter gulped.  


Natasha had no such luck though, since as soon as Wade walked out of the room, he was called back in by Tony.  


Interesting.  


“Hey, Natasha. I’m sorry about all that. My friend MJ and I are going out and getting drinks tonight to celebrate my new job, wanna come? I’ll buy you a drink to make it up to you.”  


Natasha cooed. “Oh, Peter. It’s okay. I think I know what’s wrong with Wade anyways. And I’d love to come out tonight. I’m excited to finally meet this MJ.”  


-  
A few hours later and MJ and Peter were pulling up to the curb outside of one of Peter’s favorite bars. MJ, beautiful as always, looked even better tonight.  


He felt bad for neglecting her these days. They had the potential to be such good friends, and there wasn’t even any awkwardness surrounding their past relationship anymore. It was years and years ago. He really had to hang out with her more.  


Peter helped MJ out of the cab and walked up to Natasha, who was smoking a cigarette outside the bar.  


She put it out as soon as they walked up.  


“Well, hello. It’s nice to finally meet you, Mary Jane.” Natasha leaned in, grasping MJ’s hand and shaking it. She was smiling like a cat, and had this strange twinkle in her eyes.  


Oh no.  


He had seen that look before. He knew exactly where this was going. Unluckily for Natasha, Peter had firsthand evidence that MJ was straight.  


MJ mirrored the gesture, shaking Natasha’s hand in return, leaning in far too much. She smiled, her cheeks flushing “You as well. I’ve heard a lot about you.”  


_Um, what._  


It all seemed a bit too flirtatious for Peter, so he ushered the ladies inside the bar, eager to get his drink on. He had a lot to drink about.  


He couldn’t get _too_ drunk though since he had his first day of work the next day, so naturally, he got too drunk.  


He blamed Natasha. She was a pusher.  


After Natasha did quite a bit of pushing, they were all sitting at the bar, except Peter was being ignored. Left out.  


And to be honest, Peter was a little bit depressed. Even though this was supposed to be a celebration(for him, mind you). He was a huge third wheel since Natasha and MJ were currently all over each other, he was confused, and he missed Wade terribly.  


He looked over at MJ and Natasha. Natasha’s hand was on MJ’s thigh and they were practically on top of each other. So maybe MJ wasn’t straight.  


“You guys, are like, so cute.” He drawled. They didn’t even look up.  


“That’s fine. That’s fine! You’re just way too busy being cuuutttee to answer me. Whatever.” He hiccuped. Drunk Peter had taken control. There was no turning back.  


“Y’know whatt? I’m gonna call Wade and tell him about you two . Hah! Yessss. It’s what Imma do. Heeheee. Whoopsies am I calling him? Haha wow. Whoopsididdledooo”  


Natasha and MJ were too involved with their own conversation to even listen to what Peter was saying. Peter would later scold them for not preventing possibly the most embarrassing drunk call of all time.  


The phone continued to ring, until it finally stopped and emitted a tone. Voicemail. Peter frowned, upset that he couldn’t talk to Wade. But drunk Peter made the best of every situation.  


“Heyyyy! Wade. Wadeyyy. Wadeypoo. It’s Peter! Just callin’ to say what’s up. Haha. What’s hangin’. Anyways. I want you to know TWO THINGS. Okay. Very important. Mucho. Listen close.” Peter lowered his very loud drunk voice to a only mildly loud drunk whisper “First of all. I miss you. Hee hee. SECONDLY. Natasha and MJ are like, lesbians. Dude. LIke. oh my god. Wait . They are KISSING right now holy shit. Oh my god. I thought MJ Was stRAIGHT?? Okay well I guess she thought I was straight too, but, LOL, she was wrong! Anyways, byeeee. See you never you meaney.”  


Satisfied with what had to be the best voicemail ever left to anyone, Peter turned his attention to MJ and Natasha, who were no longer kissing. Just looking soulfully into each other’s eyes.  


“I love youu guys.” he whispered, sounding kind of like a cat being strangled.  


For once, they both responded. Smiling, they took his hands and said “I love you too, Peter.” completely unaware of what had just transpired.  


And, hey, everything was fine. Just peachy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I've planned out the rest of the story (eek!!!) and I think it'll be 25 chapters????  
> I've been in a bit of a writing funk lately and haven't liked what I've written that much. But it'll do.  
> Wade doesn't know how to deal with feelings, I picture him as ignoring them and acting like a toddler. Peter has feelings and knows about them but also can't really deal with them?  
> Also am I the only one who texts when they're drunk and then wakes up and is like woowwww I'm horrible. That's Peter.  
> BUT DON't DRINK ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS, KIDS, it's not healthy.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> eek.

Wade woke up to a voicemail. Which, firstly, what the fuck. This was 2018 not the 90’s. Who left voicemails anymore? And secondly, the fact that it was from Peter at apparently 1am was even weirder. Weird and a little bit charming.  


He pressed play on the voicemail and put the phone up to his ear, and was rewarded with the very loud slurred words of a certain Peter Parker.  


“Heyyyy! Wade. Wadeyyy. Wadeypoo.”  


_Okay, that has to be one of the most adorable things I’ve ever heard._  


“It’s Peter! Just callin’ to say what’s up. Haha. What’s hangin’. Anyways. I want you to know TWO THINGS. Okay. Very important. Mucho. Listen close.”  


_Why is he so cute when he’s drunk??_  


“First of all. I miss you. Hee hee.”  


_Oh._  


“SECONDLY. Natasha and MJ are like, lesbians. Dude. LIke. oh my god. Wait . They are KISSING right now holy shit. Oh my god. I thought MJ Was stRAIGHT??”  


_Wait. Why are Natasha and MJ kissing? Aren’t Peter and Natasha supposed to be kissing? What does he mean about ‘lesbians’?_  


“Okay well I guess she thought I was straight too, but, LOL, she was wrong! Anyways, byeeee. See you never you meaney.”  


If Wade had a drink in his mouth, he would have spat it right out. Instead, his jaw fell to the floor, and so did his phone.  


**[Okay, let’s get this straight. Ahhahaha. Or rather, not straight. Natasha is a lesbian and Peter isn’t straight? Is that what we’re hearing right now?]**  


**{Holy shit. MJ and Natasha together? That’s like the hottest couple ever, yo.}**  


_So, if Natasha and MJ are together, that means that Peter and Natasha can’t be together. Unless it’s like a weird threeway thing, which I’m pretty sure Peter isn’t into._  


The pit in Wade’s stomach that had been there for days lessened. There was some sort of hope.  


_And wait? Peter isn’t straight??_  


There was definitely some sort of hope.  


The feeling of guilt followed that hope. He had treated Peter, and Natasha, like shit all because of a big misunderstanding.  


_Fuck._  


He had even killed a guy over it. And gotten in trouble because of it. Double fuck.  


Tony had called him into his office after the meeting yesterday and confronted him about the killing. Tony had pulled some strings and made sure Deadpool wouldn’t get in trouble, but now he was on a “break” from the Avengers for a whole month.  


All because of a stupid fucking misunderstanding.  


Wade got out of bed, got dressed, and headed towards Stark Tower. He wanted to talk to Natasha.  


-  
Natasha was sitting in a big chair, facing a window that looked out upon the New York skyline. She was texting MJ.  


She was pretty taken with the young redhead, and was a bit surprised by it. Why had Peter hid this fabulous girl from her for so long?  


Natasha was busy giggling at a witty message from MJ when Deadpool entered the room.  


Her good mood instantly fizzled.  


“Are you a lesbian?”  


It was quite the way to start a conversation. Wade looked frazzled, his usual goofy demeanor gone, and Natasha knew why. It was Peter. This was gonna be fun.  


“Hmm…” she examined her nails “I do like women.”  


Wade groaned and shook his head, his fists balled up at his sides. Absolutely hilarious.  


“What about men?”  


“Hmm...Well. I do like men. They can be such good friends. And I’ve slept with men before, you know.”  


This only made Wade groan even more. This was, of course, Natasha’s goal.  


“Have you slept with Peter. Yes. Or no.” Wade grunted out. His posture was so rigid, so tense, that Natasha decided to ease up.  


“I like pussy, Deadpool. Not dick. I haven’t slept with your boyfriend.”  


Wade’s body relaxed almost instantaneously.  


-  
Peter was in one of the many labs Tony Stark had within his tower. He was being given a tour by none other than Tony himself.  


Though he was a little hungover, Peter’s first day was shaping up to be one of the best ever.  


That is, until Tony mentioned Wade.  


“So, you heard from Wade since yesterday?”  


Peter shook his head. (He was not aware of the voicemail, and would find it days later and consider moving cities) He really didn’t want to talk about Wade.  


“Well, I’m pretty pissed at that guy right now. Can you believe the stunt he pulled? I was livid when I heard.”  


He looked at Tony, who really did look pissed. What the hell was he talking about? Peter may have had his problems with Wade the past few days, but nothing to cause Tony to be pissed too. Maybe it was about him being rude to Natasha?  


“Yeah, I was forced to put him on probation for a month. I can’t let him think that what he did was okay. I thought he had changed, y’know?”  


Tony looked at him, searching for some sort of reaction. All Peter was feeling was confusion.  


“What are you talking about?”  


-  
“Is Peter straight?”  


Wow. Wade really had a lot of questions about sexuality today.  


Natasha, though, really knew what this was all about. Wade liked Peter. Peter liked Wade. They were both idiots. She was a bit tired of it.  


“No.”  


Wade was silent for a few minutes, so Natasha decided to do the talking.  


“Look, Wade. I don’t really like you that much. But Peter does, and Peter is my friend. So, for your sake, and his sake, and most importantly, my sake-”she pointed at her chest “Please stop being an idiot and tell him how you feel.”  


“What, what. What do you mean?”  


Natasha sighed, she really was getting too old for this shit.  


“Tell him that you like him. He might respond better than you think.”  


Wade stood shock still, and even with the mask on you could tell his mouth was open. Natasha really felt like she was in high school. Or maybe Kindergarten.  


-  
“Oh, he didn’t tell you?” Tony asked.  


“Yeah, no. I don’t really know what you’re talking about right now.”  


Tony stopped walking and put his hand on Peter’s shoulder. This did not bode well. The signature ‘hand on the shoulder’ move from Tony meant bad news was coming.  


“Well, I got a call from the police a few days ago. They found a dead guy, and a few witnesses all said they saw a black and red costumed figure at the scene.”  


Peter gulped. This couldn’t be. They had to be wrong.  


“Turns out, Wade found the guy about to rape a girl and killed him. He told me himself.”  


Peter felt his vision blurring. His head filled with static. It couldn’t be.  


“It wasn’t...it wasn’t an accident?”  


“No. No, the police said it looked intentional and Wade even admitted it to me.”  


He could say nothing. Do nothing. He was lost under a wave of nothingness.  


“I know, I know. I got him off the hook, but Wade knows what he did won’t fly with us.”  


“I’ve...I’ve gotta go clear my head for a little. Do you mind?”  


Tony look concerned, but shook his head. Peter immediately ran for the bathroom, feeling like he was about to throw up.  


-  
“Do you really think I should?” Wade asked.  


_God, such a teenager._  


“Yes. He’s here right now, y’know. Just two floors below us.”  


Wade was gone in a moment, a flash of black and red.  


Natasha shook her head, and lamented out loud “Crazy kids.”  


-  
Peter had almost reached the bathroom when he heard his name being called. Spinning around to see who was calling him, he stopped dead in his tracks.  


It was Wade.  


“Peter! Peter! There you are. I really need to talk to you.” Wade ran up to him, out of breath and looking excited.  


Peter just felt cold. Sick and cold.  


“Yes, we do.”  


He really hoped the chill he was feeling was conveyed in those three words. He was just, he was just _so_ disappointed. He felt foolish. Foolish for thinking that Wade could change. Foolish for thinking that Wade would change for _him_.  


“Look I really want to apologize for all the shit I’ve been pulling lately. I-”Peter interrupted Wade, his anger flaring up “Like killing that man?”  


Wade froze. Peter wanted to kick the guy in the balls.  


“Yeah. Tony just told me. I thought you had changed, Deadpool.”  


The other man winced.  


“No, Peter. Peter. Listen to me.” He took two steps forward and grabbed Peter’s shoulders “I have changed. I have. It was just a slip-up.”  


Peter shook out of the man’s grasp, and backed away.  


“No. No, you haven’t.”  


Wade desperately followed Peter, reaching out to him.  


“Peter! Peter. I did. I changed, I changed with your help.”  


He really wanted to believe that. He really wanted to push this aside and move on. He really, really didn’t want to be torn apart right now.  


“You haven’t changed. I can’t change you, and I shouldn’t have to try.”  


Peter said it with finality, and walked in the opposite direction.  


He was done. At least, at least he wouldn’t have to worry about feelings anymore.  


_At least I won’t like him anymore._  


He knew he was lying to himself, but he ignored it, just as he ignored Wade calling out to him.  


“Peter! Come on! Peter!”  


“Stop! Just stop, Peter!”  


He turned the corner.  


“Peter!”  


He opened the door to the lab.  


“Peter!” It was only a faint sound.  


“Sorry about that, Tony. Now where were we?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eek!  
> did you think the whole 'killing someone' thing would blow over??? you were WRONG. this is a romcom and things never go right. Peter has a big ol set of morals. With great power comes great responsibility.   
> I know this is a bit different than the other chapters in terms of POVs but, gotta switch it up, gotta make it dramatic yknow?  
> and by the way, THANK YOU. Thank you for all the kudos, and subscriptions, and comments, and bookmarks!! I appreciate every single one of them.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha calls Peter and sets him straight.

Peter was sitting on his couch. He was also crying. But he was watching Titanic, thank you very much, and that meant crying was part of the deal.  


And, so what? So what if he had watched every decent romantic movie made in the past 20 years over the course of the past three days? So sue him. He was a man in distress.  


Peter had told himself that everything that had happened over the past few weeks was, in fact, no biggie. And that, actually, Wade killing that guy just made it easier for Peter to get over him.  


It was truly just serendipity in action.  


And now, as Peter sat on his couch, sobbing over a goddamned wooden door (which, ahem, could have definitely fit two people) he realized that it was the opposite of no biggie. It was very biggie.  


He was upset, he was hurt, he was betrayed. But yet, he couldn’t bring himself to truly hate Wade. He didn’t trust him right now, but he still cared.  


And that was the worst part of it all.  


He could get over betrayal, it happened. It happened all the time. But to be betrayed and still care? It was a real shit situation.  


Peter’s phone buzzed. It was probably MJ. Or Natasha. Or Aunt May.  


It was Christmas Eve, and Peter realized he was being a very bad ex-boyfriend/friend/nephew. But damn it all to hell, he wanted to watch Titanic and cry. Let him live.  


It might also be Wade, who had texted and called hundreds of times since their last...meeting. It had tapered off, though, by the second day. He hadn’t even received any calls or texts from Wade yet today. Peter took it as a good sign, but secretly missed the name ‘Wade’ popping up on his phone. He had never answered.  


But guilt overtook him, and in the spirit of Christmas, he looked at his phone. It was Natasha.  


‘We need to talk. Now.’  


_Ugh._  


His phone started ringing, it was Natasha, again.  


_Ughhhhhh._  


After a few rings, he answered. The spirit of Christmas, right?  


“Hey.”  


“Peter. I swear to god.”  


“Nice to hear from you too. Merry Christmas.”  


“Peter! I want to slap you. I really do.”  


“So cheerful. What is it that you wanted to talk about? Was it how much you wanted to slap me?”  


There was silence on the other end. He might have pushed it too far.  


“Peter. It’s really hard to be your friend right now. But listen to me. I heard about Wade and that guy. I know he killed him.”  


It was Peter’s turn to be silent.  


“I know that this has been really rough on you, Peter. But you’ve got to understand something, okay? You can feel however you want, but listen to me first.”  


Peter nodded, and then realized nods didn’t work over the phone.  


“Okay.”  


“Peter...Wade-Wade thought that you and I were together. At the Christmas party, he thought you and I were dating.”  


_What?_  


Natasha continued “He was jealous, Peter. And angry. He killed that guy because he was angry. I know it wasn’t right, but that’s why.”  


_Jealous?_  


“Why would Wade be jealous?”  


“Peter. The day that you found out about Wade killing that guy, he came to me. He asked me if you and I had ever slept together. I, of course, set him straight. I told him he should tell you how he felt, and he ran off looking for you.”  


_How he felt? What does she mean, how he felt?_  


“Peter. He likes you. You need to talk to him.”  


There was no way. Impossible.  


And even if Natasha was telling the truth, would it make any difference? Wade still killed that man. Wade still approached the situation completely wrong. Even if, _even if_ , what Natasha said was true, would Peter feel differently?  


_Yes._

Yes. Embarrassingly, horribly, regrettably; it made all the difference. Peter knew Wade was fucked up. He knew Wade wasn’t going to heal overnight.  


But he wanted to be there, he wanted to be there for all of it. For the growing pains, the relapses, the fights. He wanted it all.  


“Natasha, I gotta go.”  


He hung up. He needed to talk to Wade. He had to find out if all that was actually true.  


It was Christmas Eve, hell, it was even snowing. If there were ever a time for a grand gesture, it was now.  


Peter tugged a hoodie over his head, flung on a coat and struggled into his boots. Within moments, he was out the door.  


-  
Peter knocked frantically at Wade’s door. There was still no answer.  


He had called Wade, too, about a hundred times. And still no reply.  


So he was a little worried.  


Deciding to use the full extent of his strength was really for the greater good. It was a heroic cause.  


Peter kicked down the door, and made his way into the mess that was Wade’s apartment. Wade was nowhere to be found.  


He was horrified to find a huge blood stain on the bed. What was even worse was shattered window. There were smears of blood all around the window frame.  


Someone had broken in.  


He really, really began to worry. Panic, actually.  


He pulled out his phone and dialed the first number he could think of.  


“Tony! Tony! It’s Peter.”  


“Ugh. What’s up, kid? It’s 11pm on Christmas Eve. This better be good.”  


“It’s Wade. I think he’s been kidnapped.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LMAO  
> Okay so maybe the fic will be 23 chapters plus an epilogue. A sexy epilogue.  
> I planned it all out last night, while drunk, so I might be wrong. HA.  
> So excited for Peter to be a bad ass. Which, spoiler, is happening soon. Lol.  
> Literally if you keep on thinking 'oh this'll be the chapter they get together!!' you're wrong. But it is happening soon I promise and there will be multiple chapters about it. I'm all about writing gratifying endings, but you gotta go through hell first.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter has a horrible Christmas.

It was probably the worst Christmas ever.  


It was snowing, too. Which made it even worse. His tiny little dollar store tree was all prettied up, it had presents under it, and all Peter could do was pace the few square feet of his apartment.  


Wade was gone. Missing. Peter had called him about a thousand times and there was never an answer.  


There was even a little present under the tree labelled ‘Wade’. He had bought it a month ago.  


He was ignoring his friends, skipping out on plans with his own aunt, and being a goddamn grinch.  


Not a good Christmas.  


He had called Tony right off the bat, and being the angel that Tony could (rarely) be, the man had gotten to work.  


Wade might have fucked up, but Tony had a soft spot for the mercenary. Peter knew that the man would do anything to get him back.  


Part of Peter really hoped that Wade had just gone off on a job or something, lost his phone, or somehow just left a bunch of mysterious blood stains all over his apartment. He would rather have any of that than the possibility that was beginning to feel more and more like the truth.  


It was noon. It had been 13 hours since Peter had called Tony. Yet nothing had happened.  


He wanted to put on his suit and find Wade himself. God damn it.  


Instead, he put his suit in a backpack, slung it over his shoulder, and headed to Stark Tower. At least he could maybe do something to help there.  


Or at least annoy them so much they work faster.  


Peter was smart. Hell, he worked at Stark Tower. He should be there, doing shit. Reviewing security footage, tapping into Stark’s very large network of informants, yadda yadda yadda. Not just pacing his apartment feeling guilty.  


When he showed up at Stark Tower, he was surprised by how many people were actually there. Steve, Bruce, and Natasha were all standing around some huge computer screen and talking. Peter was touched. His grinch heart grew a few sizes. He’d have to write them all thank you notes or something. ‘Thank you for trying to find the guy I’m in love with’. Ew.  


He couldn’t think about that right now. He had to solely focus on _finding_ Wade. If he thought of Wade too much...he’d get all sad and distracted and probably start writing a poem or something. It was not the time for sad poetry.  


Making his way over to the computer, he wondered where the hell Wade would even be. Wade was bound to make enemies in his line of work, but who?  


“So, Peter. We’ve watched the security footage from a few places around Wade’s apartment.” Bruce pulled up a video on the screen and pointed “And these guys here seem to be the ones that took Wade. They’re all in the area around the time we think he was kidnapped.”  


Peter leaned forward and looked at the screen, trying to find anything distinguishable about the figures moving on the screen. There was nothing.  


Tony walked in from another room, putting his phone in his pocket.  


“SHIELD says they interviewed a few of the residents and restaurants in the area. A few of them saw some big black cars, but no one saw Wade. Their forensics team is analyzing all the blood in the apartment. They’re hoping not all of it is Wade’s.”  


Peter nodded. All this information, and still nothing. He was just gonna have to wait some more.  


Fucking great.  


“Is there anything I can do?”  


Natasha looked over at him, concern obvious on her face. She must know exactly how he was feeling. Like he was constantly on the verge of a panic attack.  


“Peter...I mean. You can watch the security footage again, see if we missed anything. Other than that, we’re just waiting.” Tony said gently, placing his hand on Peter’s shoulder. That god damned sympathy hand.  


Silently nodding, he sat down at the computer and shooed everyone away. Including Tony’s hand.  


Even if this was just busy work, he was gonna do it right, god damn it. He was gonna make this security footage his bitch.  


Everybody was smart enough to fuck off to another room. If everybody didn’t already know he had feelings for Wade, they sure did now. He could feel the pity radiating off of them, all of those sad sympathetic looks. It was not what Peter needed.  


He settled down into the chair and began, his attention solely focused on the screen in front of him.  


He started with security footage within a block radius of Wade’s apartment, and nothing. Just those guys, but it wasn’t even clear where they went. So he moved on to footage within a three block radius. Nada.  


It wasn’t until he started looking at security footage within 7 blocks that he noticed something. There was a car. It was small, black, and looked harmless enough. But, around the time Wade was taken, it drove off. No one got in, no one got out.  


Peter looked back through hours of footage. The car had been waiting, no one getting in or out, for an hour before driving off.  


It was too much of a coincidence. And as he looked through more tapes from days before, he realized that the car had been outside Wade’s apartment a few times. And every time, the car parked, and no one got in or out.  


This had to be something.  


“Tony! Tony!”  


Tony and Steve poked their heads through the door, looking at him questioningly.  


“Get in here, you idiots. I think I found something.”  


They hurried over to the computer and Peter explained. Tony’s eyebrows practically reached his hairline. Clearly, he hadn’t expected Peter to find anything. So there.  


“And look, you can see the license plate number. Can we look it up?”  


Tony whipped out his phone and immediately started dialing a number “I’m on it.”  


It was already 4pm. He had spent hours looking at the security tapes. As every hour went by, Peter felt worse.  


Where was Wade, and what was happening to him?  


“Peter. SHIELD is sending over all the information they have on the plates right now. Let’s take a look.”  


The car belonged to a nobody. No criminal record, no nothing. That was, until you looked a little deeper. The nobody was married to a scientist. The scientist went to school for genetics, and was Canadian.  


Peter knew exactly who took Wade. Weapon X was back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hee heee.  
> Some plot development! Amazing. Crazy. Who knew I had it in me.  
> Hope you enjoy this chapter! I don't like writing 'action' type stuff as much as I like writing 'oh i love you but I can't be with you but you love me and ohhh what a tragedy' type stuff. Hope it's not evident in my writing. Lol.  
> Also, tee hee, everything I write about Project X is like, not true. In that the fact that it's back etc. like there is no real basis for all of this I'm just pulling it out of my ass and plopping it on the screen. ;)


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade has a no good horrible very bad day.

So, being kidnapped fucking sucked.  


It sucked big time.  


Wade had always been inclined to associate the word ‘suck’ with the more enjoyable form of sucking:a blow job. But this was no blow job. Maybe a blow job where the person’s mouth was filled with acid and then in the middle of it they bit your dick off.  


Kinky.  


But no, this truly and genuinely sucked. It was Wade’s no good horrible very bad day. Kidnapped by some masked motherfuckers, killed, and then brought to this horrible little room. Very bad.  


He was currently locked in a room, chained against the wall. Nice. No windows, no bed, no toilet. Was he supposed to shit himself?  


Worst of all, though, was the fact that Peter still hated him.  


It was one thing if he was kidnapped and tortured for life while he knew Peter was out there, not hating Wade.  


But now, he was kidnapped and probably being tortured for life, and Peter hated him.  


He had just been drinking his sorrows away (as much as someone with healing abilities can drink their sorrows away), eating his weight in chimichangas, and singing along to Air Supply. He was all out of love.  


Anyways, he was just sitting there being a sad motherfucker when he was shot. Multiple times. And now he was here.  


**[We’re fucked, dude.]**  


**{Absolutely fucked.}**  


**[Maybe if Peter didn’t hate us, he’d notice we were gone.]**  


_The kid didn’t reply to any of our calls. Or texts. He hates us. There is no chance. And I’m even on probation with the Avengers so they won’t even notice._  


Well and truly fucked.  


If he somehow got out of this pickle (he had gotten out of worse before, okay) he’d really have to find a way to make it up to the kid. But was that even a good idea? If the kid really did hate him so much, wouldn’t it be best to just skip town?  


As horrible as that option would be, it might be the last good thing Wade could do for Peter.  


But what about what Natasha said?  


The thought that Peter could return some sort of feelings for Wade (or at least, used to) was more than enough for Wade to desperately want to see the kid again. Maybe just tell him how he felt and fuck off.  


And how did he feel exactly?  


Jealous when Peter talked to someone . Extremely jealous when Peter flirted with someone. Happy when he was with Peter. Sad when he wasn’t with Peter. Definitely turned on when Peter’s butt was within five feet. Definitely turned on when anything of Peter’s was within five feet. He wanted to be around him, to protect him, to make him laugh.  


**[So, what you’re getting at...is that you love him.]**  


_What the fuck. Guess that’s true._  


Of course he knew he liked the kid, even a dumbass like himself knew that. But love? Stupid, filthy love? This is the kind of shit that _would_ happen to him. An ex-mercenary in love with one of the most morally righteous superheroes out there. Who also happened to be fucking beautiful. While he was covered in ugly scars inside and out.  


Fucking classic.  


Also classic, was the fact he was having this psychoanalysis session while being chained to a wall. Nothing like being kidnapped to help you get your priorities straight.  


The room was cold, boring, and downright depressing. The chance of getting out of there was pretty much nonexistent.  


The only way out was the single metal door right in front of him. Which was currently opening.  


A man wearing glasses and a lab coat walked through the door. He seemed oddly familiar, which really didn’t sit well with Wade. Most of the people from his past weren't that great.  


“You ever think of hiring an interior decorator or somethin’?”  


“Wade Wilson. Good to see you again, looks like you still have the same sense of humor.”  


_Um, how does this motherfucker know me?_  


“Oh, so you don’t remember me as well as I do you. Figures. I was one of the research assistants at Weapon X. Do I look familiar now?”  


Wade’s heart dropped into his stomach. His no good horrible very bad day had just gotten worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters at once!! Oh man.  
> They're both pretty short so I figured I'd just do it.  
> 20 chapters!! I cannot believe. I appreciate every little bit of support, so thank y'all.  
> THREE CHAPTERS LEFT!! If my drunken notes were correct. Didn't someone important say 'write drunk, edit sober?' well that guy was wrong.  
> Though I did type it out on my phone, maybe it would be easier on paper. Is modern technology preventing us from writing drunk successfully? Is this why book sales are falling?  
> Might be on to something here, folks.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter kicks some ass.

Peter had hightailed it out of Stark Tower as soon as they found the location of the new lab.  


Tony had insisted that Peter stay and wait for everyone, but Peter was sick of waiting.  


Was it stupid? Maybe. But he did this shit all by himself all the time.  


The ‘lab’ was actually just a little warehouse in upstate New York. Some scientist who used to work at Project X decided he could do it better, and apparently needed Wade.  


Peter kept on thinking of what horrible things they must be doing to Wade. How terrifying it must be.  


Tony had let Peter borrow a car (one of the least expensive ones, which wasn’t saying much)and he was speeding. A lot.  


Could he just like, say he was Spider-man or something if a cop pulled him over? Or would that make them want to ticket him even more?  


Whatever, he didn’t even have a license. Practically no one who lived in New York City had a license, especially Spider-man. Did Tony know that? No.  


Whatever. Lives were at stake.  


He had been driving for an hour, and he was almost there, if the location Tony gave him was right. He was so close, and had no plan.  


He had no clue how many people were there, what the building looked like, or Wade was.  


Nice. This was going to go fabulously.  


It was now night time, around 8pm. Huge trees flanked each side of the road, basking in the moonlight. There was a clear sky, and the moon was full. Peter was grateful that there would be at least a little light.  


The GPS in the car beeped. He was only a half mile away. Pulling over, he kept on thinking of how the hell he was going to pull this off.  


Peter pulled on his mask, unzipped the hoodie that was partially cover his suit, and got out of the car. This would be a ‘winging-it’ scenario, then.  


The bushes by the side of the road were kind of hard to get through, and Peter desperately wished for skyscrapers that he could swing from. What was all this hullabaloo about nature anyways? If you try and climb a tree, you get poked by branches and leaves and get sap all over your fingers. Buildings, however, had none of those problems.  


Stupid nature. He kicked the bush in front of him. It only hurt a little.  


But now was the time for stealth, not bush kicking.  


After making his way through what seemed like an endless barrage of _leaves_ he finally reached a clearing.  


There was a small dirt road leading up to a big warehouse. Only two guards outside, and what Peter guessed was quite the array of security cameras. Easy peasy. Time to be sneaky.  


He scouted out two security cameras pointing at the main door and only a little around the perimeter. Crawling over to a side of the clearing, Peter positioned himself to the side of the guards. They were looking out towards the road, and he was to the right of one of them, completely out of sight.  


Now was the time to kick some bushes.  


He took out all of his anger at nature on the bushes around him, making a lot of fucking noise. This caught the guards attention.  


“What the hell is that?”  


“Probably just an animal or something, Steve.”  


“That would have to be a pretty fucking big animal, Bob. I’m gonna go check it out, you stay here.”  


“Whatever. You’re so paranoid. I’ll stay here and guard the building then, Steve, while you go chase bunny rabbits.”  


“Oh fuck off Bob.”  


‘Steve’ walked towards Peter’s hiding spot. He had one big ol’ gun in his hands and another strapped to his thigh. Piece of cake.  


As soon as ‘Steve’ was a few feet in front of him, and completely out of view of the cameras, Peter proceeded to web the fuck out of him.  


He dusted his hands off, put them on his hips, and admired his handiwork.  


‘Bob’ had apparently taken notice of Steve’s extended absence. Perfect.  


“Steve! What the hell is taking you so long? Was the bunny rabbit too big? Too scary?” Bob called out, and of course, there was no reply.  


“Steve, you motherfucker. I swear if you are just taking a piss or some shit I’m gonna be really ticked off.” Bob made his way over, abandoning his post. Hee hee.  


Peter proceeded to do the same to Bob as he did to Steve.  


He then proceeded to take the cap and jacket off Steve.  


“You won’t mind if I borrow this, will you?” They didn’t answer. Their mouths were webbed shut.  


Peter chuckled to himself, he really was too funny.  


He put on his new uniform and walked over to the door, using Bob’s key card to get in.  


Phase one, complete.  


What was phase two, you may ask? No fucking clue. It was a ‘winging-it’ scenario.  


The inside of the warehouse was a lot darker than he expected. He hastily took off the jacket and cap and climbed to the ceiling. Finally, some man-made shit. Some good ol concrete and metal. Felt just like home.  


Anyways, back to the bad guys. It was pretty low-tech. Seemed like some crazy scientist got his hands on a little money and was just scraping by. How the hell did they end of capturing Wade then?  


As he crawled on the ceiling down a hallway, he spotted more guards. Within a few seconds, they were disarmed and webbed on the wall. God, he was good at this.  


Down the hallway there was a door, and luckily, a vent shaft right above it. Peter crawled through the shaft and stopped when he heard voices. Right below him was a lab with a few scientists and a handful of guards.  


“He can seemingly take anything we throw at him. We shot him in the head, and he healed. Cut off his legs, and he healed. We have to do more tests, see how much more he can take.”  


“I agree. I think the next thing is to dismember him as much as possible, and see if he can regenerate. We must find the flaw, and correct it.”  


Peter seethed with anger. They were torturing Wade, all for the sake of what? Science?  


He really, really wanted to beat the shit out of those scientists.  


He had to take a deep breath before doing anything rash. Wade must be kept in one of the rooms connected to the lab. Assholes and guards first, and then Wade. He would have to separate them.  


Crawling back to where he entered, he webbed up to the ceiling and hung down just slightly, enough to quickly knock on the door and retract back up.  


There was a commotion, and a guard opened the door and came into the hallway.  


Peter landed right on top of him, the guard’s head between his thighs. In one smooth motion, Peter used all of his strength and flung the guard on the ground, blocking his airways and knocking him out. One down.  


He knocked on the door again. A seemingly pissed guard opened the door groaning “What?”  


He was answered by a punch in the face.  


Peter was pretty certain there were only two guards in the room, but he would have to take the chance.  


But first, he bound the two passed out guards with his webs. Then, he crawled back up the opening in the vent. The two scientists remained in the lab, looking at some documents sprawled over the table.  


They deserved hell, and Peter wanted to give it to them. But a lifetime in prison would do them justice, too.  


He kicked off the vent directly above the scientists and jumped through.  


“What’s up, you bastards.”  


To say they were surprised would be an understatement.  


“Spider-man? What are you doing here?”  


He roundhouse kicked the guy in the face. The bastard fell to the floor, and Peter focused on the other bastard.  


It was the guy from the file. Peter would have recognized that face anywhere.  


He kicked the guy in the stomach.  


“What the hell is wrong with you?”  


He punched the guy right in the jaw.  


“Haven’t you caused Wade enough suffering?”  


The scientist had blood coming out of his mouth and he was clutching at his abdomen. It wasn’t all the pain that he deserved, but it would have to do.  


With one final blow to the head, he knocked the man out.  


Looking around, Peter desperately looked for Wade. There was a single door, metal and with about ten locks on it. That had to be the room Wade was in.  


He headed over, and began unlocking and unbarring the door.  


His efforts were interrupted by a shout “Hey Spider-man!”  


His spidey senses tingled, and he whipped around in half of a second, but it was too late.  


The scientist he had knocked out before was still lying on the ground, but had a gun in his hand. A gun that was pointed at Peter. A gun that had just been fired.  


_Fuck._  


Peter clutched his side. He had, indeed, just been shot. It had only grazed the side of his abdomen, but _holy fuck_ did it hurt.  


He quickly webbed the gun out of the scientists hand and restrained him, wincing the entire time. There was definitely blood dripping on the floor from his wound. Great.  


Peter dragged his attention away from his side and to the door. Wade.  


The desire to get Wade out of there, to free him, was overwhelming. He had so many things he wanted to say, so many things he wanted to do.  


Now that he had almost saved Wade, his brain diverted to what had happened before the kidnapping.  


Wade. Wade being an asshole. Natasha telling him Wade liked him. Being in love with Wade.  


_Oh god, oh god._  


His hands started to shake as he finished unlocking the door. Could he really do this? Could he really tell Wade how he felt so easily?  


As soon as the door opened, and he saw Wade covered in blood and chained to the wall, his mind was clear.  


It would be that easy. Nothing could ever be easier.  


He rushed over, and Wade’s eyes opened slightly. There was a number of bullet holes in the man’s chest, and Peter could tell he was barely hanging on to consciousness.  


“Peter? Is that you?”  


He put his hand on the man’s unmasked face, feeling the rigidity of the scars beneath his fingertips. Affection seeped into his heart.  


Wade’s eyes fluttered shut again, and his head drooped.  


“I love you, you idiot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tee hee.  
> This was actually super fun to write! A long ass chapter, for my standards, so I hope it satiates you.   
> I can't believe I've actually written this much, and that there actually is some plot and not just one long drabble.   
> Thank you everybody who has been following this as I write it, and thank you everybody who has showed me any level of support.   
> Now, it's time to write sexy times.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade and Peter have a talk.

Wade had woken up with one thing on his mind: Peter.  


Peter, Peter, Peter.  


He kept replaying those words over and over in his head. “I love you, you idiot.”  


God, Peter wanted to make that his ringtone or something. Put it on a CD. Play it again and again, like when you discover a new song and can’t stop listening to it, except Wade knew he’d never get tired of it.  


Jesus, he was turning into a sap.  


**[Why aren’t we at his place yet? Like c’mon.]**  


**{The kid told you he loved you, this isn’t something that happens every day}**  


**[Hell, this might never happen again]**  


_Optimistic, guys. Very optimistic. But I’m planning on hearing that every day, you guys. If I can swing it._  


**[Oh my god he’s gone soft on us, the asshole.]**  


Soft, schmoft. He used to kill guys for a living, he could want to hear those three words every day, ‘kay?  


Wade was now embracing those ooey gooey feelings. And god damnit, it made him sappy and it made him soft.  


Whatever, whatever whatever. He was done caring about that kind of shit. All he knew was that he wanted Peter. He...loved Peter.  


_Fuck._  


And if Peter really did love him back, he’d be damned if he didn’t try and make it work. Lord knows he’d been in agony over the kid for the past few weeks. Probably the past few months, too, if deeper bouts of introspection were applied. Hell, he’d probably been crazy over the kid for forever.  


Which was exactly the reason he was sitting on the subway (fastest way to travel okay) wearing fucking pajamas. He hadn’t really thought of changing, he just thought of _getting_ there. In hindsight, propositioning the possible (definite?) love of his life while in PJs with cats all over them maybe wasn’t the best plan.  


Hindsight is 20/20, whatever.  


Anyways he was almost to Peter’s apartment and he realized...he had no clue what he was going to say. He was wearing pajamas and had no fucking clue what to say to Peter.  


This was going to go so smoothly.  


The time to come up with something poetic and swoon-worthy was dwindling. Severely dwindling. In fact, Wade was standing in front of Peter’s door.  


God damnit. Whatever. He had no time to think of some grandiose confession, he didn’t want to wait. Not another minute.  


He lifted his hand up, and after only a little hesitation, he knocked on the door.  


-  
Peter was in his living room. Some TV show was playing in the background, but he wasn’t paying attention.  


Had Wade woken up yet? Should he go over? Should he dig a hole and crawl in it never to emerge again?  


Did Wade hear him?  


Did Wade feel the same?  


See? How could he possibly pay any attention to whatever bullshit show was on TV when he had all these problems.  


It was noon, he was still in his PJs (if you count an over sized shirt and boxers riddled with holes as PJs) and the cup of coffee in his hand had become cold. His side hurt like a bitch, but the wound was closing and would hopefully be fine by tomorrow. Right now, however, he winced every time he moved.  


There was a knock at the door. Peter slowly got up, trying be very mindful of the gaping wound in his side, and made his way over to his door.  


He looked through the peephole and saw Wade. Big, taking up the whole peephole, wearing pajamas.  


Peter’s heart stopped in his chest. So this was gonna happen _now_.  


_Oh god oh god._  


Okay, okay this was gonna happen. No sense in delaying it. Peter shook his whole body, hoping to shake off any reluctance and hesitation in his body left.  


He opened the door, Wade came barreling in, and began pacing the length of his tiny kitchen.  


“So. Hi. What’s up.”  


“Uh...hi?” Peter was kind of panicking now. Why was Wade acting so weird?  


“So. Hi. Okay. So you came and saved me. Alone. And beat the shit out of everyone. Which is super hot, but besides the point. You do all this, but I thought you hated me? And then-” Wade lifted his hands in the air, emphasizing whatever point he was about to make “And then you tell me you love me and you call me an idiot. Which? I mean was there someone else in the room that you were telling that to? And if not, what? I mean I definitely deserve the ‘idiot’ part but I’m not so sure I deserve the ‘I love you’ part.”  


Wade paused, and looked at Peter searchingly. His eyes were wide, filled with an emotion that Peter couldn’t put his finger on.  


So was it his turn? After all the babbling, Peter tried to make sense of what Wade had just said.  


_So he definitely heard me. Fuck._  


Peter took a deep breath and thought of all the possible ways he could get out of this, including jumping out of the window. But he needed to do it. He wanted to.  


_Now or never, I guess._  


“It was meant for you.”  


Wade’s hands paused midair, and those big eyes got even wider. Peter could hear the stutter in the older man’s chest.  


“So, what you’re saying is, that you love me. Is that what you’re saying? Despite all the bullshit I’ve pulled? Even though I’m ugly and fucked up and wear hello kitty pajamas?”  


“Yes. But not despite all of that, because of all that.”  


_Oh god, too far._  


The look of surprise on Wade’s face almost broke Peter’s heart. Did Wade really think he was unlovable?  


“Holy fuck. You’re not kidding.”  


Peter breathed in slowly, air dragging in his throat, and prepared himself for rejection.  


But before he could even exhale, Wade was pressed up against him, grabbing his cheek and planting a firm kiss on his lips.  


They both tasted like morning breath, and Peter could taste the coffee from his own lips, but god it was perfect.  


Wade released him, and looked at Peter with _that_ look. The look of someone who had just discovered treasure after years of searching. The look that Peter could bask in forever.  


“Fuck, Peter.”  


Wade kissed his temple.  


“I love you too.”  


His cheek.  


“I don’t think I could love you anymore than I do now.”  


His forehead.  


“I don’t think I’ve ever loved anyone this much.”  


His jaw.  


“I’m so sorry for everything.”  


His nose.  


“I’ve wanted this for so long, you have no idea.”  


And finally, Wade’s lips caught Peter’s once more.  


This time, Peter responded. Rising up, he opened his mouth and slid his tongue into Wade’s.  


Wade moaned, and Peter could feel the vibrations through his body. He wrapped his arms around Wade’s neck and pressed up against him.  


Warm, that was what Wade felt like. Warm and big and strong. He wanted to be as close as possible; to melt into the other man.  


Feel him everywhere.  


He leaned back, gasping for air.  


“I can’t believe this is happening right now.” Wade whispered into his ear, the older man’s head resting on Peter’s shoulder.  


Peter couldn’t help but chuckle. He couldn’t believe it either.  


It turns out laughing was a bad idea, though, as a flash of pain seared his side. Forgot about the god damn bullet hole.  


Wade immediately noticed and stepped away a fraction of an inch, looking Peter up and down.  


“Are you okay?”  


“Oh..yeah. I just kind of got hurt last night.” Peter lifted up his shirt a little to show the bandage. “One of those bastards shot me.”  


Wade’s face fell, and he reached out and touched Peter’s side gently. He shivered.  


“Oh...Peter. You got hurt cause of me?”  


He shrugged a little.  


“Worth it.”  


Wade smiled, shook his head, and carefully pulled Peter closer.  


“Oh baby boy, thank you for saving me.”  


His cheeks burned with the name.  


“So, baby boy, I’ll pick you up tomorrow at 8. We’re going on a date. I’ll let you heal up, but god damnit I hope your healing factor works by tomorrow. Cause I don’t want to be gentle.”  


Wade moved away, kissing Peter once more for good measure, and headed for the door.  


“I’ve got to go take care of some shit with Tony, but you’ll be in my dreams tonight, sweet cheeks.”  


And then he walked out the door, leaving Peter feeling bereft. And with a slight boner.  


His phone buzzed on the counter.  


“Miss you already.” It read. It was from Wade.  


_God, what a sap._  


Still, a grin consumed Peter’s face.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have a new headcanon for Peter. It's the guy who they based Peter Parker off in the new ps4 game. Look him up. Just sayin.  
> SOOOO  
> HEEEHEE  
> I have as of now extended the chapters it's gonna be 24. Tee hee.  
> You just KNOW I can't let sexy sex just HAPPEN. You gotta WAIT.  
> Anyways hope you like this chapter I had a lot of fun writing it, and I'm like kind of in love with Peter and Wade.. Whoops.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Wade go on a date.

The date was quick. They got Taco Bell (upon Peter’s request surprisingly) and it took all of 15 minutes to get and eat their food. Not to mention the fact that Wade had called at 9 in the morning and told Peter he was picking him up at 5 instead. Apparently Wade couldn’t wait until 8. Peter had no complaints.  


Their date was just like their friendship. Easy, casual, no fuss.  


Peter had been nervous, stood in front of his closet for thirty minutes trying to pick out an outfit, and had spent thirty minutes in the shower scrubbing every inch of his body. He was nervous until he realized it was just Wade.  


It wasn’t some first date bullshit, it was Wade. Someone who Peter had felt so comfortable with it was almost embarrassing.  


Sure, it was their first actual date, but how many times had they walked down the street and got tacos? Or chinese?  


And so that was why, after their 15 minute date, they were walking in companionable silence back to Peter’s apartment and he felt completely at ease.  


Wade had been talking the whole time, but now he was quiet. Peter was grateful that Wade could be quiet around him, that the silence didn’t have to be filled.  


They had reached the sidewalk entrance to his building when Wade abruptly stopped.  


“So...this was fun.”  


“Ah, yes. I really enjoyed the 20 minute ‘date’ we just had.” Peter laughed, looked down, and then up at Wade quickly. “You coming up?”  


“Hell yes.”  


Which is why Wade was currently pressed against Peter. And Peter was currently pressed against the wall outside his apartment.  


They really hadn’t wasted any time. As soon as Peter and Wade got into the highly questionable elevator in Peter’s apartment complex, he was pushed up against the wall.  


Wade had paused, his hands pinning up Peter’s, before lowering his lips to the younger man’s.  


This was very unlike their first kiss. It was scorching. There was nothing gentle about it.  


Peter opened his mouth, desperate for a deeper point of contact. Wade plunged his tongue into the depths of Peter’s mouth, and he moaned. Wade purred at the sound.  


The friction between them was too much and not enough all at once. He wanted Wade’s naked skin on top of his own. It was damn near all he could think about.  


They had finally made it to his floor, and Peter dragged the man into the hallway. Wade had become fascinated with the sliver of skin right below Peter’s ear, and it was incredibly distracting.  


Peter had a door to unlock, though if it wasn’t for his nosy neighbours, he’d be tempted to get on with it right then and there.  


They were mere feet away from his door when Peter decided to give in a little more.  


He thrust towards Wade, creating sickly sweet friction between them. Wade growled against the crook of Peter’s neck and pressed against Peter even harder.  


Peter’s head fell back, hitting the wall, and an embarrassingly squeaky moan escaped his lips.  


Wade chuckled. “Let’s unlock your door, shall we?” he muttered, his voice deep and husky.  


Peter gulped and nodded, breaking free from the very strong and very...hard man in front of him.  


As he pulled out his keys to unlock the door, he realized he was shaking.  


Was it just his nerves, or was it just that the air was so cold? Without Wade pressed up against him, he was bereft. Cold and alone.  


When Wade pressed up against his back, Peter couldn’t help but melt into the other man. His hands stopped shaking, and he opened the door.  


Within moments, they were through the door and in Peter’s kitchen. Wade flipped Peter around and was immediately upon him, his lips had found their way back to the crook of Peter’s neck.  


His own hands found Wade’s sides, trailing up and down the muscular planes of Wade’s stomach, inching under his shirt, finding feverish skin.  


It, too, was scarred. But Peter delighted in the texture, rough and rigid against his smooth palms, just as Wade’s coarse lips rubbed against his soft skin.  


Peter wanted more, more, more. He slid his fingers further down, pleased by the shivers it elicited from Wade.  


Wade’s bulge was impressive, and Peter wanted nothing more than to get Wade naked.  


His hands started working on the zipper to Wade’s jeans, though it was more difficult to get undone than Peter had thought.  


Wade’s hands joined his own and made quick work of the zipper, before they moved to Peter’s.  


And there they were, pants around their ankles, standing in Peter’s kitchen.  


He couldn’t help but laugh, though it came out as a giggle.  


“Should we move um, uh , to my room?” Peter’s question was interrupted by Wade’s hand on his cock.  


“No time.” Wade grunted. “I’m going to suck your dick, right now, and you can’t do anything about it.”  


Holy shit.  


Wade’s hands pulled Peter’s boxers down, and the cold air came as a shock. But it was only seconds before he was enveloped in Wade’s warm mouth.  


Holy shit.  


Wade’s mouth moved up and down, sucking and licking, and Peter felt like he was going to fall apart.  


He was close, too close.  


“Wa-Wade-” He gasped at some wonderful thing that Wade was doing with his mouth “Stop, stop. I’m close.”  


Wade reluctantly slid his mouth off, and looked up at Peter.  


“Where do you keep your lube.”  


Peter motioned towards his room. “Dresser. Bottom drawer.” His voice was quiet, like a whisper.  


A few moments later, Peter was hoisted onto the counter, and Wade’s cock was pressed up against his own.  


Wade grabbed his face, gentle, and looked at him straight in the eyes.  


“Do you want this?”  


“Yes. Yes. Now.” was all Peter could moan before Wade’s hands pressed up against Peter’s hole, and his finger gently sliding in.  


One finger, two fingers, three fingers, and Peter had started to shake, barely aware of all the sounds he was making.  


“Oh...baby boy.”  


Wade slid himself in, filling Peter up completely.  


“Baby boy.” He muttered, over and over, as he pushed in and out.  


Wade was big, almost painfully slow, but after a few thrusts, he moaned once more.Delightful sensations tingled up his spine.  


Wade’s pace increased, and he grasped peter’s mouth with his own. They were barely kissing, just breathing into each other’s mouths, both caught up in one another. Peter’s ass slid across the counter, and Wade grabbed him, large hands bringing him closer as Peter leaned back, positioning them better, no, perfectly.  


His cock throbbed, begging to be touched, and he took himself in how own hand, making quick, frantic motions as Wade slammed into h

im, hitting his prostate again and again.  


“Peter. Peter.”  


Wade’s pace quickened yet again, crazed and frenzied.  


“Wade-Wade. I’m-I’m-”  


The pressure in his cock built and built, until in one shuddering moment, he came, Wade along with him.  


They both panted as Wade slid out, Peter resting his head against the other man’s.  


“We’ve made quite a mess, haven’t we.”  


“Good thing we’re in the kitchen.”  


“Don’t think I’ll ever be able to cook in here again without having flashbacks.”  


“Perfect.” Wade cooed. “Should we move to the bedroom?”  


Peter felt his cock twitch, and nodded quickly.  


“Oh, baby boy, you’ve got stamina. What do you think of handcuffs? Have you ever used your webs as handcuffs?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, yes, here it is. The sexy sex.  
> Only one chapter left! Holy hell.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An epilogue of sorts.

It was the eve of Tony’s annual Christmas party yet again.  


Peter was standing in front of the mirror, adjusting his tux. Wade was directly behind him, admiring Peter’s butt.  


“Your ass looks damn fine in that suit, Petey.”  


“Yes. It does.”  


Wade smacked Peter’s butt, lingering a little.  


“Hmm, mind if we skip the party?” Wade’s lips found Peter’s neck. What was it with that spot?  


“Wade...you know we can’t miss it. Tony will give us shit for weeks if we do.”  


“Ugh. Whatever. Okay, let’s get this over with.”  


“Aww you’re so sweet babe.” Peter made kissy faces at Wade, trying to pull him closer.  


“Wadey-poo.” Peter cooed.  


Wade put his hand in Peter’s face and pushed.  


“I hate you.”  


“You looooove me.”  


“Nope.” Wade said, walking out of Peter’s room with Peter following closely behind making grabby hands.  


“Aww wadey-poo you’re so shyyy.”  


“Shut up you asshole.”  


Peter finally managed to grab Wade, pulling him close by the lapels of his suit.  


“Aww honey muffin, boo bear, my little sugar cake-”  


“I hate you so much.” Wade laughed. “Remember that time I called you a pompous dick face? I’m beginning to think I was right all along.”  


“My little honey bunches of oats.”  


“Honey bunches of oats? Isn’t that some sort of cereal?”  


“My little frosted flakes.” Peter pinched Wade’s cheeks.  


“This is getting ridiculous, and that’s coming from me. Think you should change your angle on these pet names. I’m thinking something along the lines of…’God of Sex’ ? Huh?”  


“Hmm...not sure if it fits.”  


Wade gasped and raised his hand to his forehead in a highly dramatic motion.  


“I’m hurt! Wade I’m absolutely crushed. Hmm...what about ‘King of Sex’? Hmm “King of Poundtown’? ‘Mr. Sexy Pants?’”  


“Y’know, still not working for me, my little cheerio.”  


“Hmm…” Wade leaned in slightly, his nose barely brushing Peter’s.  


“What about ‘Mr. Made You Cum Three Times Last Night’?”  


Peter leaned into Wade even more, their lips now millimeters apart.  


“I like the ring of that.”  


Wade closed the distance between their mouths. He took his time, slowly, softly, painstakingly gentle.  


Needless to say they were late for the party.  


But show up, they did.  


Tony greeted them at the door, two glasses of eggnog in hand. Peter took his but immediately poured it into Wade’s cup. Fuck eggnog. Wade loved the icky stuff, though.  


Peter scanned the room, finding MJ and Natasha huddled in some corner. They were practically draped over each other in some deep conversation. Peter wasn’t sure if he was more proud of Natasha or MJ in this situation. They’d been together for almost a whole year.  


_I mean, so have Wade and I._  


Oh god. A whole ass year. It was almost upon them.  


If Peter knew Wade, and Peter really knew Wade, he would do some over the top romantic gesture.  


Wade was, surprisingly, a lot more into the schmoopy shit than Peter. For their first month anniversary, Wade had cooked him a very romantic dinner of pancakes.  


Their two month anniversary was another meal cooked by Wade, but it didn’t blow over as well. Wade had tried to do some ‘culinary fusion’ but it turns out that mexican food and pancakes don’t really mix that well.  


Their 6 month anniversary was a special one. Wade got Peter a golden imprint of his own butthole. Extremely romantic.  


The 12 month one was probably gonna be big, and Peter was going to try and be romantic too. Blegh.  


Speaking of Wade, he was currently pressed against Peter’s side, hand on his ass.  


“Wow this party is boring.”  


Peter turned towards Wade, mock disapproval on his face.  


“Is that because you don’t have any young hot women to cruise?”  


“Oh please, baby, you know my eyes were on you that whole evening.”  


“Oh were they?”  


“Mmmhmm. Just as they are now.”  


“They better be.”  


“Oooh jealous? I like this side of you.”  


“I thought you liked every side of me?”  


“Well, that’s true. Though I gotta admit, this-” Wade grabbed even more of Peter’s ass “This might be my favorite side of you.”  


“No shit, Wade.”  


“Y’know...I was just thinking…”  


“Oh lord. You, thinking? Don’t like where this is going.”  


“Anyways, asshole, I was just thinking… with your amazing spidey powers, and my muscular hot bod, bathroom sex wouldn’t be that bad.”  


“So sex with me is ‘not that bad’?”  


“Oh honey.” Wade leaned down towards Peter’s ear, his warm breath giving Peter goosebumps “You know that sex with you is never ‘not that bad’, more like fucking amazing.”  


Peter gulped.  


“Let’s find a bathroom, shall we?”  


“Ho ho! That’s what I’m talking about.”  


Wade ushered Peter out of the room, ignoring the suspicious look from Natasha. Apparently she wasn’t _only_ paying attention to MJ.  


They both rushed down the hallway, desperately searching for a bathroom.  


“You would think, with all the money Tony has, he would have a bathroom on every fucking corner.”  


“Oh! Look, Wade. A bathroom. Fucking finally.”  


Wade practically pushed Peter through the door.  


“Lock the door.”  


“Okay, ‘kay, I’m on it.”  


Wade started kissing Peter’s neck, taking off the very nice blazer he rented for twenty bucks.  


“Okay! Okay it’s locked.”  


He turned around, pulling Wade closer and sliding their mouths together.  


They were both already hard, who knew searching for a bathroom could be such a turn on?  


“Wait. Wade. Do you have any condoms? Lube?”  


“God damnit. The one day I don’t have my pockets full of god damned lube and condoms.”  


“That’s alright. There are plenty of other things we can do.”  


“Ooh baby boy.” Wade reclaimed Peter’s mouth. “I love it when you’re resourceful.”  


Wade put his hand on Peter’s dick, and started unbuckling his belt and pulling down the very nice pants he rented for twenty bucks. Peter reciprocated.  


Within a few moments, both of them were naked. Peter hoisted himself on the wall, sticking to the side of it, making his dick perfectly aligned with Wade’s.  


He thrusted upwards, sliding their dicks together. The friction was insane, and Wade groaned into Peter’s mouth.  


Almost a whole year later, and Peter still thought that was the hottest sound ever.  


With every thrust, Peter came closer and closer.  


“Wade, Wade.”  


“Yes baby boy?”  


“I’m about to cum on your tux, and I don’t think the deposit is refundable.”  


“Small-” Wade thrusted “Price-”Peter groaned, closer than ever “-to pay.”  


Peter came on Wade’s clothed chest, Wade not far behind.  


“Well there goes that twenty bucks.”  


“Have I told you I loved you today?’  


Peter grinned, grabbing some paper towels from the dispenser (bathrooms, so handy) and started cleaning them up.  


“You told me this morning.”  


“Well, I love you baby boy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap!  
> I wrote most of this chapter while high, so. Excuse me.  
> Firstly, thank you everyone who had been reading this while I write it. LOVE YA. Every single message I got put a smile on my face. I can't believe I am DONE with my first ever AO3 fic (I wrote one fic when I was in middle school and don't think I ever posted it)  
> Now..the question is....what's the next fic I should write??  
> It's gonna be spideypool, so watch this space.

**Author's Note:**

> (Sorry if this isn’t compliant with anything ever. Also sorry if this is a bit OOC in your opinion. This is my own fantasy universe, okay.)  
> Okay so I the little tidbit in the summary is written, okay. In fact, it was the first thing I wrote. I'm just crazy like that. Anyways That will come soonish, just trust me.  
> Also, please be nice. This is my first fic on AO3 and my first posted spideypool fic. Also, I don't have a beta.  
> P.S I promise smut is coming. This won't be the type of fic to leave you hangin.  
> P.P.S If you're wondering who I was picturing whilst writing this: Peter is a mix between Andrew Garfield and the Peter from the latest Spider-man game, Wade is Ryan Reynolds obviously. You can picture whoever you like, as long as Ryan Reynolds is voicing Deadpool.  
> Thanks for reading!


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